"NAW BRAH, Its COOL to be a SUICIDE BOMBER if your at the EVERY TIME I DIE show. . ."
. . .Makes sense right!? So anyways, I was talking to some friends of mine in L.A. that are in the "biz" and was educating me on some funny shit thats been going on. And I have read and seen some shit from L.A. to Sacto that was worth being talked about and that I think is some funny shit. As funny as a rotting self aborted fetus next to the trash can at In and Out!!!
The cutest little trend now with new bands and major labels, is to sign young bands, and instead of them sitting around for awhile doing nothing, they get them to put out fake indie albums… usually on their own fake indie labels, or perhaps any indie label willing to take a check under the table, and that way they can build up that “indie cred” that “money can’t buy” in an “organic” way. Right. This is especially popular among many local L.A. bands of the moment who have played like… 5 shows, but are already living fat on the major label payroll. Or sacto bands doing what they can to have their music played to any celeb or a celeb's offspring only to be kicked in their whiny cunts to the curb. The funny part is that some of you idiot kids out there either can’t tell this is happening, or don’t care. Well here’s the thing, to all the bands that put out albums on independent labels cos there’s no other way to put out their records, and tour in vans cos that’s the only option there is, not cos it’ll make them look like “troopers” in their major label debut, IT’S HUGELY FUCKING OFFENSIVE. FUCK OFF. So next time you hear about a band where somebody says, “awwww, naw dude, they didn’t really sign with (enter ANY major lable) Records, that’s just a rumor”, and then see full page ads in every magazine on the face of the planet for their “independent” record, YOU ARE BEING FUCKING PLAYED!!!
And the Award for MOST FUCKED MUSICIAN is (drum roll please): The bass player of Phish! The story is he’s kidnapped the daughter of the head of the Hells Angels and taken kiddy porn photos with her. That was smart dude.
The lil gash brusing rapist's From Autumn to Ashes will be touring the western hemisphere and have heard and fucked all the little friendster boys and girls that they can get their aging punk/fashionxcore? dude hands on the first time around on warped tour will be back around with Everytime I Die/CAVE IN. Sounds like a party to me. Get to the show late enough to see Cave In and if you need to stay after them...feel free to pull the pin on the granade, just make sure that the ETID dudes are trying to score some mall core gash next to the merch table!!
Speaking of Friendster, if you’re on that shit, take a look at yourself and try and tell yourself you’re not a total waste of skin. It’s pretty fucking impossible huh? Get a hobby dorks.
And Speaking of Cave In, seems they might need some help prying that foot out of their mouths right about now cuz they just started playing the heavy shit again. The kids think those Foo Fighter songs are like tampons (they’re for pussies) so they’ve started playing the Slayer riffs again and making Stephen do that barking/screamy crap and all that shit. Oh yeah, and Vanilla Ice is rapping again too... I'm just sayin.
Umm..I just realized that “scenester irony” is about as funny as a funeral for a toddler.
The new Saves The Day record is coming out on Dreamworks...DREAMWORKS?! If you care about this YOU ARE A GIANT PUSSY. That shit is about as cool as your grandma wearing a fanny pack.
That band My Chemical Romance, Well, the dude with the bottle opener gap-teeth from Thursday "produced", just signed to Warner Bros. Because in case you didn’t read in Spin… EMO IS BIG.
Oh, and if you missed this one too… Spin, or maybe it was Rolling Stone… what’s the difference… they just pretended like they invented the term “screamo”. That shit was lame when middle aged, white, Matchbox 20 fans didn’t know about it anyway.
The guitar player from that band Breaking Pangaea on Equal Vision has joined
Taking Back Sunday. The guy whose girlfriend the lead singer fucked is still
under contract for another record, even though he's not in the band anymore,
so it should be interesting to see how that pans out on the next record,
which is supposed to come out on Victory or any number of major labels next
year. Blah, blah, blah. Um… too bad nobody cares about any of this shit except for 15 year old pussies .
DreamWorks and Island are both trying to sign Brand New. Which if you think about it is pretty funny… a bunch of mid aged people listening to fourth generation mall emo. You people are old enough to know better! BRAND NEW FOR CHRIST SAKE?!!?
Limp Bizkit got boo’ed off stage, not to mention pelted with bottles while the crowd chanted “FRED SUCKS”, when the Summer Sanitarium tour hit Chicago a few weekends ago. That’s pretty cool and all, but why the fuck didn’t the crowd do the same to Mudvayne, Linkin Park, and Metallica each and EVERY NIGHT. NEWFLASH, THOSE BANDS SUCK TOO. I would rather watch a taped Christmas prison rape!!!
As if I havent ranted enough in the past about Good Charlotte, Why is every "hardcore kid" trying to look like them!? bandannas and mesh hats with their spiked bracelets, cause you know… that’s like “punk”. GROW THE FUCK UP. I swear I'm starting my own crew and it will consist of me and some girl scouts...wait, nevermind...thats my fantasy! *kisses*
The cutest little trend now with new bands and major labels, is to sign young bands, and instead of them sitting around for awhile doing nothing, they get them to put out fake indie albums… usually on their own fake indie labels, or perhaps any indie label willing to take a check under the table, and that way they can build up that “indie cred” that “money can’t buy” in an “organic” way. Right. This is especially popular among many local L.A. bands of the moment who have played like… 5 shows, but are already living fat on the major label payroll. Or sacto bands doing what they can to have their music played to any celeb or a celeb's offspring only to be kicked in their whiny cunts to the curb. The funny part is that some of you idiot kids out there either can’t tell this is happening, or don’t care. Well here’s the thing, to all the bands that put out albums on independent labels cos there’s no other way to put out their records, and tour in vans cos that’s the only option there is, not cos it’ll make them look like “troopers” in their major label debut, IT’S HUGELY FUCKING OFFENSIVE. FUCK OFF. So next time you hear about a band where somebody says, “awwww, naw dude, they didn’t really sign with (enter ANY major lable) Records, that’s just a rumor”, and then see full page ads in every magazine on the face of the planet for their “independent” record, YOU ARE BEING FUCKING PLAYED!!!
And the Award for MOST FUCKED MUSICIAN is (drum roll please): The bass player of Phish! The story is he’s kidnapped the daughter of the head of the Hells Angels and taken kiddy porn photos with her. That was smart dude.
The lil gash brusing rapist's From Autumn to Ashes will be touring the western hemisphere and have heard and fucked all the little friendster boys and girls that they can get their aging punk/fashionxcore? dude hands on the first time around on warped tour will be back around with Everytime I Die/CAVE IN. Sounds like a party to me. Get to the show late enough to see Cave In and if you need to stay after them...feel free to pull the pin on the granade, just make sure that the ETID dudes are trying to score some mall core gash next to the merch table!!
Speaking of Friendster, if you’re on that shit, take a look at yourself and try and tell yourself you’re not a total waste of skin. It’s pretty fucking impossible huh? Get a hobby dorks.
And Speaking of Cave In, seems they might need some help prying that foot out of their mouths right about now cuz they just started playing the heavy shit again. The kids think those Foo Fighter songs are like tampons (they’re for pussies) so they’ve started playing the Slayer riffs again and making Stephen do that barking/screamy crap and all that shit. Oh yeah, and Vanilla Ice is rapping again too... I'm just sayin.
Umm..I just realized that “scenester irony” is about as funny as a funeral for a toddler.
The new Saves The Day record is coming out on Dreamworks...DREAMWORKS?! If you care about this YOU ARE A GIANT PUSSY. That shit is about as cool as your grandma wearing a fanny pack.
That band My Chemical Romance, Well, the dude with the bottle opener gap-teeth from Thursday "produced", just signed to Warner Bros. Because in case you didn’t read in Spin… EMO IS BIG.
Oh, and if you missed this one too… Spin, or maybe it was Rolling Stone… what’s the difference… they just pretended like they invented the term “screamo”. That shit was lame when middle aged, white, Matchbox 20 fans didn’t know about it anyway.
The guitar player from that band Breaking Pangaea on Equal Vision has joined
Taking Back Sunday. The guy whose girlfriend the lead singer fucked is still
under contract for another record, even though he's not in the band anymore,
so it should be interesting to see how that pans out on the next record,
which is supposed to come out on Victory or any number of major labels next
year. Blah, blah, blah. Um… too bad nobody cares about any of this shit except for 15 year old pussies .
DreamWorks and Island are both trying to sign Brand New. Which if you think about it is pretty funny… a bunch of mid aged people listening to fourth generation mall emo. You people are old enough to know better! BRAND NEW FOR CHRIST SAKE?!!?
Limp Bizkit got boo’ed off stage, not to mention pelted with bottles while the crowd chanted “FRED SUCKS”, when the Summer Sanitarium tour hit Chicago a few weekends ago. That’s pretty cool and all, but why the fuck didn’t the crowd do the same to Mudvayne, Linkin Park, and Metallica each and EVERY NIGHT. NEWFLASH, THOSE BANDS SUCK TOO. I would rather watch a taped Christmas prison rape!!!
As if I havent ranted enough in the past about Good Charlotte, Why is every "hardcore kid" trying to look like them!? bandannas and mesh hats with their spiked bracelets, cause you know… that’s like “punk”. GROW THE FUCK UP. I swear I'm starting my own crew and it will consist of me and some girl scouts...wait, nevermind...thats my fantasy! *kisses*