i've made it

Dec 10, 2006 07:17

I dont know what i want.
I get upset at myself because i have NOT made a decsion
I complain about it, but when i think about what i want, my mind goes blank.

there comes a time when you realize your friends dont appreciate you
...as much as you do them.
And there comes a time in every 17[18] year virgin,girl who's never "been in love", wishing someone she love's, love's her back, LIFE

((and i cant even write in words the rest of my feelins on this matter))

that i cant really talk to my friends,
they cant really, understand me,

... perhaps they have in the past....

but now, its down to 69% of my friends cant put them selevs in my possition.
its not like they havent been where i am, cause they have.
but i just feel like everything i say is a repeat, everyone's getting sick of it.

well i'm sick of your shit.
and how i think about you guys...more than i should.
i ALWAYS think in your well being, and maybe its not my place to do that
but i care.

and i cant help BUT FEEL i'm talking to a mutha fuckin' wall.
and in writting this i feel like the bitch.
and i hhaaaaaaaaaaaaaatte my self for doing this, but i'm angery

upset

In the words of Bob Dylan
"i have no direction home"

I now understand the meaning of this title.
it makes complete sense.

i hate being alone in my house, with my mom
and i dont know why.

this scares me
and i'm clawing at the walls,
i'm kicking all these non-sense doors down.
i don show up, or call.
i dont call people back.
you know why?

i dont.

this is waaaaaaayyy to deep.

for once...

i want to be alone
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