So Unsexy
So it seems coming to Tampa was a splendid epiphany. My family is the best. They welcomed me with open arms. They are doing their best to help me in any way and keep everything positive. For this I owe them the world. My Aunt Kathy is so easy to talk to and she is trying so hard to help me come up with a solution and set straight all the confusion.
Yesterday I got in town around 5:30 or 6:00pm. My Uncle Lee dropped me off at my grandmother’s church. I sat and watched the Christmas Cantata with my Uncle Tom and cousins. Aunt Kathy played the piano and my cousin Shawnee and my grandmother sang. The music was beautiful.
Westminster Presbyterian was my church from childhood. I was baptized when I was a baby there and attended until I moved to Tallahassee when I was eight. It was fun to reminisce on my childhood while sitting in the back of the sanctuary. I remembered playing with my brother on the stairs of the balcony while my mother practiced the organ and also playing hide-and-go-seek with him on the front lawn of the church. All of these memories brought smiles until my mind shuffled upon some of my beloved grandfather. I remember it was pick-your-favorite-hymn-night one Sunday evening. I was probably only 4 or 5 and I didn’t quite understand the concept of picking a hymn, and then raising your hand. When I was called on, I didn’t have a number so my grandfather kept whispering, “Pick number two! Pick number two!” I do not know why I remember that particular night in that church.
I just realized just how much I miss my grandfather. I remember his funeral back in 2002. It was at the same church. I remember looking into the casket and seeing his lifeless body. Skin cancer had taken him away. As I sit here, I am crying. I am sitting in the same room where I gave him the last hug. I remember crying on the way home because for some reason, I knew it was the last time I’d see him before his death. I would do anything just to see him one more time. Just to have one last conversation with him. Just to be able to say goodbye. I never really mourned his death like I should have. I cried, but as soon as the funeral was done, I blocked all emotions from my exterior. I think I’m paying for that now.
Anyway…I went on quite a tangent there.
I don’t know what else to write…
Yesterday I got in town around 5:30 or 6:00pm. My Uncle Lee dropped me off at my grandmother’s church. I sat and watched the Christmas Cantata with my Uncle Tom and cousins. Aunt Kathy played the piano and my cousin Shawnee and my grandmother sang. The music was beautiful.
Westminster Presbyterian was my church from childhood. I was baptized when I was a baby there and attended until I moved to Tallahassee when I was eight. It was fun to reminisce on my childhood while sitting in the back of the sanctuary. I remembered playing with my brother on the stairs of the balcony while my mother practiced the organ and also playing hide-and-go-seek with him on the front lawn of the church. All of these memories brought smiles until my mind shuffled upon some of my beloved grandfather. I remember it was pick-your-favorite-hymn-night one Sunday evening. I was probably only 4 or 5 and I didn’t quite understand the concept of picking a hymn, and then raising your hand. When I was called on, I didn’t have a number so my grandfather kept whispering, “Pick number two! Pick number two!” I do not know why I remember that particular night in that church.
I just realized just how much I miss my grandfather. I remember his funeral back in 2002. It was at the same church. I remember looking into the casket and seeing his lifeless body. Skin cancer had taken him away. As I sit here, I am crying. I am sitting in the same room where I gave him the last hug. I remember crying on the way home because for some reason, I knew it was the last time I’d see him before his death. I would do anything just to see him one more time. Just to have one last conversation with him. Just to be able to say goodbye. I never really mourned his death like I should have. I cried, but as soon as the funeral was done, I blocked all emotions from my exterior. I think I’m paying for that now.
Anyway…I went on quite a tangent there.
I don’t know what else to write…