this thing should be useful
Well, seeing as according to my journal i have dropped off the edge of the earth. I decided to take some time to update my life. I havent had much of a chance to really think about anything, im always just too busy, life is too hectic. Either that or im hardly home. My mom has recently complained about how often i am gone. "its like you dont want to be here anymore" Its very true. but i am not alltogether sure why. Even when Chris isnt home i dont want to be here. i come up with every excuse not to behome. work, friends, staying after school, seeing my new boyfriend alexander... everything is a way to escape. I need a change, i need a new look, a new feel. i can barely stand myself anymore, maybe thats why im always busy, then i have other things to think about. i dont know who i am and i dont really care to find out.
see this is what happens when i get a chance to think about things. i start doubting everything, even the person i really am. I confuse my self majorly. why do i always doubt? i can never take things as they are. its like i try and lie to myslef, so i can never trust my own judgment.
anyways... i dropped the IB programe. so i have lots of free time that i manage to fill up with even more pointless shit. besides the fact that i slept in till 12 today... what a waste of time? But i do need to start writing down my dreams again.. i really have lost touch in myself.
see this is what happens when i get a chance to think about things. i start doubting everything, even the person i really am. I confuse my self majorly. why do i always doubt? i can never take things as they are. its like i try and lie to myslef, so i can never trust my own judgment.
anyways... i dropped the IB programe. so i have lots of free time that i manage to fill up with even more pointless shit. besides the fact that i slept in till 12 today... what a waste of time? But i do need to start writing down my dreams again.. i really have lost touch in myself.