LOYALTY TO FRIEND OR INTEREST...WHERE THE HELL IS MY LIFE GOING?
I did nothing today, and it was amazing. Although, I realized I am incredibly bored with my life. I need a change, something new...ANYTHING!
I sat here thinking for most of the day...just about my life. I just feel so...unsatisfied with my life. What if I were to die tomorrow? Would I be happy with all that I had? All that I have done? Or have I really done anything at all? But then again, where is my life really going? What am I doing? I have just now finally realized....I am scared shitless of everything. I am excited to move away and go to college, but what about my friends? The relationships I have established with people. What about my family? I can't even imagine having to leave everything I love behind, and when I do think about it, it freaks me out. We have exactly 8 months until we graduate. Until we all seperate. Until we begin a new jounrney on a new path, and we live new lives. WHERE THE HELL AM I GOING WITH THIS?! I dont know, I just now that I have become scared. I am no longer that excited, I am scared.
Another thing I thought about today as I did absolutely NOTHING, is a little term that guys like to use called, "BRO'S BEFORE HOE'S." Is this a true statement? Is this a realistic pact that guys make with each other when they become friends? They wont date the girls that their friends have dated? I have always thought that this was a very kind thing to do for your friends, but honestly, can you stop the way that you feel about someone? I mean the girl's term is,"CHICKS BEFORE DICKS," but do we really use this? I feel as though everyone in our "group" recycles the ex-girlfriend of that guy, or re-uses the ex-boyfriend of that girl....so, where is the loyalty in our friendships anymore? what are the rules? When can you/can you not date your friends ex? Are there rules, or is it just a common courtesy?
I sat here thinking for most of the day...just about my life. I just feel so...unsatisfied with my life. What if I were to die tomorrow? Would I be happy with all that I had? All that I have done? Or have I really done anything at all? But then again, where is my life really going? What am I doing? I have just now finally realized....I am scared shitless of everything. I am excited to move away and go to college, but what about my friends? The relationships I have established with people. What about my family? I can't even imagine having to leave everything I love behind, and when I do think about it, it freaks me out. We have exactly 8 months until we graduate. Until we all seperate. Until we begin a new jounrney on a new path, and we live new lives. WHERE THE HELL AM I GOING WITH THIS?! I dont know, I just now that I have become scared. I am no longer that excited, I am scared.
Another thing I thought about today as I did absolutely NOTHING, is a little term that guys like to use called, "BRO'S BEFORE HOE'S." Is this a true statement? Is this a realistic pact that guys make with each other when they become friends? They wont date the girls that their friends have dated? I have always thought that this was a very kind thing to do for your friends, but honestly, can you stop the way that you feel about someone? I mean the girl's term is,"CHICKS BEFORE DICKS," but do we really use this? I feel as though everyone in our "group" recycles the ex-girlfriend of that guy, or re-uses the ex-boyfriend of that girl....so, where is the loyalty in our friendships anymore? what are the rules? When can you/can you not date your friends ex? Are there rules, or is it just a common courtesy?