(no subject)
if i could, i would be in a car right now starting my four hour drive just to hold someone who i love very much and haven't seen since august. but instead i am reading books like classic cases in medical ethics and the literature of the american south.
i hate having to feel like this. i just want things to be simple. when i was stoked on my life and on my place in the world. more than being stoked, it was just complacency. but now i'm stuck in a place in my life where i can't take it, where i refuse this life, these words, this strife. and i know that this is only something i'm putting myself through. and i hate myself for doing to myself the most hateful thing one person could do to another which is push emotional buttons. i only started pushing my own buttons because i wanted to make myself into a stronger, smarter person. but now i can't stop pushing those buttons. i've created a monster.
so the golden rule, kids, is stay stoked on life for as long as you can. don't think, don't question because once you start you won't stop. you will create a monster out of yourself.
DisorderRatingParanoid:HighSchizoid:LowSchizotypal:HighAntisocial:ModerateBorderline:Very HighHistrionic:Very HighNarcissistic:HighAvoidant:LowDependent:ModerateObsessive-Compulsive:Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
i hate having to feel like this. i just want things to be simple. when i was stoked on my life and on my place in the world. more than being stoked, it was just complacency. but now i'm stuck in a place in my life where i can't take it, where i refuse this life, these words, this strife. and i know that this is only something i'm putting myself through. and i hate myself for doing to myself the most hateful thing one person could do to another which is push emotional buttons. i only started pushing my own buttons because i wanted to make myself into a stronger, smarter person. but now i can't stop pushing those buttons. i've created a monster.
so the golden rule, kids, is stay stoked on life for as long as you can. don't think, don't question because once you start you won't stop. you will create a monster out of yourself.
DisorderRatingParanoid:HighSchizoid:LowSchizotypal:HighAntisocial:ModerateBorderline:Very HighHistrionic:Very HighNarcissistic:HighAvoidant:LowDependent:ModerateObsessive-Compulsive:Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --