(no subject)
i've been cleaning up in my room and coming across things from two and three and even five and six years ago in my life. and some of the things make me incredibly embrassed because i was so goofy. but a great majority of the things make me incredibly sad because i was so lost and dejected at different parts of my life. and even crazy . . . but i survived it.
but then i found the drd manifest. and i decided to write my own manifest, because only one thing got me through it:
i want this to be what it is all about. my purpose, as a woman, is to further the gospel of my lord jesus. i love life, i love music, and having fun, but my life, music, and fun is but a tool. we are all tools. i am here to serve and to minister. i am someone with an agenda. not a personal agenda, or a political or social agenda, nothing like that. a theistic agenda that i want people to stop and discover. an agenda unlike one some have never known before. one that cannot be understood until one holds it up to the light. i am not here to force feed some extremist or conservative worldview. i am not here to impress anyone, but rather to impress upon someon that jesus christ in lord, not just my lord, but THE lord. by myself, i am nothing. as humans, we are nothing. i don't care if anyone sticks a label on me. call me "christian" or don't. call me "misguided." because i don't take on either of the labels. those things don't matter . . what matters is that people are being raped, murdered, violated, abused, forsaken, neglected, and forgotten. however, jesus christ can touch them, heal them, and actually set them free. he is setting me free. i'm tired of being judged, but if one talks to me and listens to me, he'll know there is something different about me. i will not step around it or walk around the class. i am not afraid. my heart knows what i am representing. i will respect everyone, but i'm not going to back down or ease up to fit into any scene. i have a reason for all of this. jesus has a reason for all of this. i am open. i am praying for everyone. and i hope that people will pray for me too because i fall nine times out of ten, but with jesus i am raised. and this is why i exalt his name. xoxo.
'yes i cry. i cry . . . because jesus loves me and he knows my heart. he knows my heart.'
"i know it seems like i'm always falling down. but it does not matter to me. although it seems like it should. it's because i know i'm understood when i hear him say 'rest in me, little david. and dry all your tears. you can lay down your armor, and have no fear. cos i'm always here when your tired of running. i'm all the strength that you need.' it's uphill both ways, tomorrow i swear i won't act this way. i know it seems like that is always what i say. i know i want to be like jesus, but it seems so very far away. when will i learn to obey?"
but then i found the drd manifest. and i decided to write my own manifest, because only one thing got me through it:
i want this to be what it is all about. my purpose, as a woman, is to further the gospel of my lord jesus. i love life, i love music, and having fun, but my life, music, and fun is but a tool. we are all tools. i am here to serve and to minister. i am someone with an agenda. not a personal agenda, or a political or social agenda, nothing like that. a theistic agenda that i want people to stop and discover. an agenda unlike one some have never known before. one that cannot be understood until one holds it up to the light. i am not here to force feed some extremist or conservative worldview. i am not here to impress anyone, but rather to impress upon someon that jesus christ in lord, not just my lord, but THE lord. by myself, i am nothing. as humans, we are nothing. i don't care if anyone sticks a label on me. call me "christian" or don't. call me "misguided." because i don't take on either of the labels. those things don't matter . . what matters is that people are being raped, murdered, violated, abused, forsaken, neglected, and forgotten. however, jesus christ can touch them, heal them, and actually set them free. he is setting me free. i'm tired of being judged, but if one talks to me and listens to me, he'll know there is something different about me. i will not step around it or walk around the class. i am not afraid. my heart knows what i am representing. i will respect everyone, but i'm not going to back down or ease up to fit into any scene. i have a reason for all of this. jesus has a reason for all of this. i am open. i am praying for everyone. and i hope that people will pray for me too because i fall nine times out of ten, but with jesus i am raised. and this is why i exalt his name. xoxo.
'yes i cry. i cry . . . because jesus loves me and he knows my heart. he knows my heart.'
"i know it seems like i'm always falling down. but it does not matter to me. although it seems like it should. it's because i know i'm understood when i hear him say 'rest in me, little david. and dry all your tears. you can lay down your armor, and have no fear. cos i'm always here when your tired of running. i'm all the strength that you need.' it's uphill both ways, tomorrow i swear i won't act this way. i know it seems like that is always what i say. i know i want to be like jesus, but it seems so very far away. when will i learn to obey?"