For once in my life...
This weekend for the most part was on the boring side. I had a few things to do here and there. I did buy American history x and a Michael buble cd/dvd. Both very good and worth it. This was the last weekend I will have a free Saturday for a while. The Baja car is progressing quite well. We are all very pleased with the job we have done so far.
Today in church I was thinking, I want to be president of the United States of America. I would like to have a hand in running this country. I told this to my dad and he asked why. I said idk to put an engineer running this country and he laughed saying fat chance. But you know what, this isn’t the first time I have thought about it. I kind of like the idea. I remember reading that the reason china's gov't. runs so well is because it consists of 80% engineers and scientists.
Mass was magnificent. I love the choir and organ. I love singing too. I get into it all. I feel so free when I am there. I wish I felt like that all the time. Not so worried about what others think about me. I want to listen to my music loudly with my windows rolled down and not wonder what the person in the car next to me is thinking. I wish I wasn’t so worried about my appearance (clothes wise). I want to lose weight, but that’s for personal reasons, health. My mom sent me a thing from Dr. Phil about finding your true self or something like that. I read a lot on it. And I realized that I worry to much about things that aren’t important. Yesterday I was with Nicole and Anthony and we were talking and I realized some of the changes I have made in my life due to other people and events. I have learned a great deal about myself and life through my past. Looking back I see where I went wrong and am now trying to improve on them. I was wondering earlier what the recipe for humble pie would be and what the pie would actually look like. I imagined the crust to be flakey and the insides invisible, yet filling, filling the soul. We take things for granted (myself included) the small things. Those that we overlook as common occurrences in our everyday lives. These things could be skills that someone else wishes they could have or personalities that others admire. I talked to a guy from my high school today. He finished basic training recently and is at a tech school in Texas. I learned a lot from him. More than he learned from me. He told me a couple of years back that I was a role model for him, he looked up to me. And I was shocked. I was like, why me. I’m nothing special. And then more recently in talking with my sister, she said the same things. it made me realize there is more to what all I am doing than what it seems. In all of the accomplishments I have achieved over the years I have only looked at the end. Never the journey. The things I have done, places I have gone have all been brief little nothings to me along this road I’m traveling. But others see them as great things that they wish they could do. I’m not trying to sound arrogant or conceited or any of that, I’m just rambling about the thoughts in my head at the moment and those I have been thinking about lately. I apologize for the length. Although I doubt many, if anybody reads this. Right now I am living my life with a goal in sight, but that’s all I’m going for. This goal. I’m letting everything else just go by without even paying attention. I’m passing up little things that make this road more interesting. Passing stops that become memories. I have tunnel vision. That’s how I have lived my life these past years. I have missed out on many things. I overlook things b/c they are not the goal. I shoot for the end. I should slow down. Stop and smell the roses (sorry for being so cliché) I once said to someone that all those little imperfections we all have (physically) are what makes us beautiful. That mole, or one dimple, or the way the color in our eyes aren’t the same all the way through. Those little things are beautiful. The more of these things we notice on our significant others, the more special you should feel. B/c passers by wont notice all these things. These little bits and pieces that only you two know about. ( man I really have changed subject)
My mom will be fifty years old this year. 6 of my best friends will be getting married this summer. That’s kind of scary to me. I hope I don’t lose my friends b/c they will now be married. My life is what it is through them. My family is also apart of it, but my friends are more present now than my family is. I kind of wish I could go back and relive life knowing what I know now. Not to make better grades, or change mistakes, but to enjoy what I did more. Remember the good things instead of embedding the bad memories. I hate that I do that. I can remember more of the bad things I did/ went through than I can happy memories. But that won’t happen. Maybe I will do better now in my life that I recognize these things. I want to experience more things in my life than I am right now. This summer I am supposed to be going to Milwaukee, Wisconsin and possibly to Portland, Oregon. That’s the kind of things I am looking forward to. Experiencing life. Seeing what’s out there. I used to want to stay around here when I graduated from college, but now I am thinking that maybe I don’t want it anymore. I still don’t want to move up north where there is a lot of snow, although I would like to try snowboarding again. And even skiing. Definitely snow mobiling. But I thought about going to Mexico. I love the culture and language. I have actually thought about it more lately. Yeah the whole not being around family would suck, but idk if it would be that bad. (I doubt that it will happen) they have great bass fishing lakes there too. Maybe I ought to look for an internship there this summer that way I could see if I would like it. Well, I need to get some reading done. That’s it for now...
Today in church I was thinking, I want to be president of the United States of America. I would like to have a hand in running this country. I told this to my dad and he asked why. I said idk to put an engineer running this country and he laughed saying fat chance. But you know what, this isn’t the first time I have thought about it. I kind of like the idea. I remember reading that the reason china's gov't. runs so well is because it consists of 80% engineers and scientists.
Mass was magnificent. I love the choir and organ. I love singing too. I get into it all. I feel so free when I am there. I wish I felt like that all the time. Not so worried about what others think about me. I want to listen to my music loudly with my windows rolled down and not wonder what the person in the car next to me is thinking. I wish I wasn’t so worried about my appearance (clothes wise). I want to lose weight, but that’s for personal reasons, health. My mom sent me a thing from Dr. Phil about finding your true self or something like that. I read a lot on it. And I realized that I worry to much about things that aren’t important. Yesterday I was with Nicole and Anthony and we were talking and I realized some of the changes I have made in my life due to other people and events. I have learned a great deal about myself and life through my past. Looking back I see where I went wrong and am now trying to improve on them. I was wondering earlier what the recipe for humble pie would be and what the pie would actually look like. I imagined the crust to be flakey and the insides invisible, yet filling, filling the soul. We take things for granted (myself included) the small things. Those that we overlook as common occurrences in our everyday lives. These things could be skills that someone else wishes they could have or personalities that others admire. I talked to a guy from my high school today. He finished basic training recently and is at a tech school in Texas. I learned a lot from him. More than he learned from me. He told me a couple of years back that I was a role model for him, he looked up to me. And I was shocked. I was like, why me. I’m nothing special. And then more recently in talking with my sister, she said the same things. it made me realize there is more to what all I am doing than what it seems. In all of the accomplishments I have achieved over the years I have only looked at the end. Never the journey. The things I have done, places I have gone have all been brief little nothings to me along this road I’m traveling. But others see them as great things that they wish they could do. I’m not trying to sound arrogant or conceited or any of that, I’m just rambling about the thoughts in my head at the moment and those I have been thinking about lately. I apologize for the length. Although I doubt many, if anybody reads this. Right now I am living my life with a goal in sight, but that’s all I’m going for. This goal. I’m letting everything else just go by without even paying attention. I’m passing up little things that make this road more interesting. Passing stops that become memories. I have tunnel vision. That’s how I have lived my life these past years. I have missed out on many things. I overlook things b/c they are not the goal. I shoot for the end. I should slow down. Stop and smell the roses (sorry for being so cliché) I once said to someone that all those little imperfections we all have (physically) are what makes us beautiful. That mole, or one dimple, or the way the color in our eyes aren’t the same all the way through. Those little things are beautiful. The more of these things we notice on our significant others, the more special you should feel. B/c passers by wont notice all these things. These little bits and pieces that only you two know about. ( man I really have changed subject)
My mom will be fifty years old this year. 6 of my best friends will be getting married this summer. That’s kind of scary to me. I hope I don’t lose my friends b/c they will now be married. My life is what it is through them. My family is also apart of it, but my friends are more present now than my family is. I kind of wish I could go back and relive life knowing what I know now. Not to make better grades, or change mistakes, but to enjoy what I did more. Remember the good things instead of embedding the bad memories. I hate that I do that. I can remember more of the bad things I did/ went through than I can happy memories. But that won’t happen. Maybe I will do better now in my life that I recognize these things. I want to experience more things in my life than I am right now. This summer I am supposed to be going to Milwaukee, Wisconsin and possibly to Portland, Oregon. That’s the kind of things I am looking forward to. Experiencing life. Seeing what’s out there. I used to want to stay around here when I graduated from college, but now I am thinking that maybe I don’t want it anymore. I still don’t want to move up north where there is a lot of snow, although I would like to try snowboarding again. And even skiing. Definitely snow mobiling. But I thought about going to Mexico. I love the culture and language. I have actually thought about it more lately. Yeah the whole not being around family would suck, but idk if it would be that bad. (I doubt that it will happen) they have great bass fishing lakes there too. Maybe I ought to look for an internship there this summer that way I could see if I would like it. Well, I need to get some reading done. That’s it for now...