Doing a lot of thinking...
I realized I am somewhat lonely. I wish I oculd find the right guy, or he could find me...however that is supposed to work. And currently I had some thinking that maybe I found that person. And I was happy, but now I am thinking, what if hes not the person. Like, I like him, and supposedly he likes me, but what if we don't go out. Do I wait around for him or go out in search of someone else? It's all very confusing. I wish he could be the person I start to see because I think we would have a lot of fun together, but I'm not sure if he wants it. Do you know what I mean???
It's strange how people come and go out of your life...it's like they all do it for a reason. There has to be some reason why after two years, someone just re-enters my life like this. And that is what I am trying to figure out. The reason to why he has entered my life...maybe it is to help me realize things or maybe something more...who knows? But whatever it is, it is for a reason...and I guess it's one of those things that I am going to have to figure out on my own. But hopefully it will work for my benefit and I can finally be happy...
I am tired of the life I was living...with no real person in my life to actually care about. No purpose or meaning in anything I did. Getting drunk or high to be a better person and be happy. I don't want that. I want to be happy on my own. And that is what I have been feeling for a couple weeks. I feel that I can be happy about myself and I am probably much more appealing that way. I want to be better, I can't be so sad. And the past couple weeks has helped me realize there are other things that can make me happy...and hopefully I will find them.
I guess that's really all I have for now...hmmmm
It's strange how people come and go out of your life...it's like they all do it for a reason. There has to be some reason why after two years, someone just re-enters my life like this. And that is what I am trying to figure out. The reason to why he has entered my life...maybe it is to help me realize things or maybe something more...who knows? But whatever it is, it is for a reason...and I guess it's one of those things that I am going to have to figure out on my own. But hopefully it will work for my benefit and I can finally be happy...
I am tired of the life I was living...with no real person in my life to actually care about. No purpose or meaning in anything I did. Getting drunk or high to be a better person and be happy. I don't want that. I want to be happy on my own. And that is what I have been feeling for a couple weeks. I feel that I can be happy about myself and I am probably much more appealing that way. I want to be better, I can't be so sad. And the past couple weeks has helped me realize there are other things that can make me happy...and hopefully I will find them.
I guess that's really all I have for now...hmmmm