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Jesse brought home the guitar that Shawna gave him and he was trying it out on the way home. i really don't know what's wrong with me. i was getting up set because of it. i don't know if it's because i'm jealous or that it's just too beautiful or what. i did the same thing the last day of class last year. in math, i was just staring from across the room because i was too afriad to go over there. i really don't know what it does to me, but i'm crying now. i really should have said this to him on the bus so i'm not home alone crying, but i'm just done like that. i really have to stop communicating to people through notes. i really hate doing that. but i'm just afraid that i'll make my self even more sick if i never say it. now i'm off to my piano lessons, yippee (sarcasim) i really don't want to do it anymore because i'm getting too worried about my recital and i don't have time for anything anymore and i hate that.