an open call
Several years back, after an absolute minimum of consideration, I came to this understanding:
Everyone thinks they're special and others should be able to recognize it. Many people get frustrated when this does not happen. We think to ourselves "i'm not going to waste my time calling someone who doesn't think i'm important to hang out with. if they think i'm important enough they'll call me". The problem comes because that other person is probably thinking the same thing - after all you think they're special enough to accept their invitation. The result is too people waiting for the other to call, and neither willing to make it. It gets really disapointing for both - a total misunderstanding of judging self-worth.
In order to maintain friendships, the response is not to withdrawl and let others offer, but to keep reaching out. It can be easy to wait, but anything worth waiting for is worth acting on. You have to act on the presumption that at least one of you is waiting for the other to call, to agknowledge how special they really are. The alternative is too wasteful to consider, and you are special by making this effort. There is no way they'll refuse when you make the first call.
Everyone thinks they're special and others should be able to recognize it. Many people get frustrated when this does not happen. We think to ourselves "i'm not going to waste my time calling someone who doesn't think i'm important to hang out with. if they think i'm important enough they'll call me". The problem comes because that other person is probably thinking the same thing - after all you think they're special enough to accept their invitation. The result is too people waiting for the other to call, and neither willing to make it. It gets really disapointing for both - a total misunderstanding of judging self-worth.
In order to maintain friendships, the response is not to withdrawl and let others offer, but to keep reaching out. It can be easy to wait, but anything worth waiting for is worth acting on. You have to act on the presumption that at least one of you is waiting for the other to call, to agknowledge how special they really are. The alternative is too wasteful to consider, and you are special by making this effort. There is no way they'll refuse when you make the first call.