Something
I'm not sure why this thought came into my head earlier, as it conflicts with my mood at some strange degree...
But I thought, 'If it were actually even remotely possible to find the words to come close to describing how I actually feel about and treat myself, and told someone, i'm sure their eyes would turn sombre and heavy, and they would begin to cry.'
I'm sure that applies to many peoples impressions on themselves really, and again i'm not sure why I thought that. But I did, and it was a pretty cold moment.
I can see the weight being lifted soon...at least in theory...
I felt a really bizarre feeling yesterday, sitting with Amy on the staircase...
I want to go sit in the pyramid again...
And not having to cancel my holiday to work would have been nice...
But I think i'm going to Napier tomorrow...random...it's time to go sit up in the hills...
I want to go find that spot up on Te Mata peak where the Nice Day For An Earthquake video was shot, except I won't be smashing a television...
It'll be an amazing view however, it's on the East Coast, perhaps it'll be a nice place for a sunrise, like standing on the Whangamata beach with the wind blowing my hair back from my face, the rising sun perfectly clear. God it was so beautiful...
Finding somewhere sacred would be a great way to go, and finding a very solid footing on it. For all I know...
...and this I now know...
...I'm stepping over sacred ground.