Flames on the Horizon....
So it's been a long time since I last posted anything and it was mostly about how I was going to quit my job and focus more on school....
Well, I quit my job, but the focus on school didn't come like I wanted it too. Lately the only thing I can think of is how much I hate it and how much I don't want to be here anymore...I've been going to school for about 16 years of my life, STRAIGHT!, and I'm tired of it and burnt out. I have no passion or desire to learn anything anymore and it's hard for me to even get out of bed in the morning, or do my homework like a good student. I just don't care anymore. I know I should, and I beat myself up over this, but nothing works....I go back to sleep instead of getting up to catch the bus, I watch TV or fiddle on the computer instead of doing homework and I hang out with Joe to stay out of my room where my books are. I hate school....I don't even like being on campus anymore. I tell myself to get stuff done instead of sitting around, but I never do...
I know that everyone's had their moment of being burnt out, but this isn't just a moment, this has lasted since the summer. I'd rather be in the working world and making money to survive and pay rent and come home and do what I want instead of having to think about homework or something outside of work. I liked working, I really did. Even if it was monotonous, I loved it. It was different and the whole time I was at work I was engaged in something, not listening to someone prattle on and on about a subject I really don't want to listen to. I like being on my feet and making some good of my actions, whether it was making a fucking sandwich or doing dishes or anything. I might not want to go back to the deli, but I want to get into the restaurants. I have a passion and desire for the restaurants, even if I start as a lowly busser for the tables, that's okay with me! I was a busser before and I can do it again and work my way up the carpet ladder of the business....I feel like I belong there.
So, it's come to my attention that I can take 2 quarters off from school and not have it affect my enrollment status. That's just what I might do. Take Spring, Summer and maybe Fall off....like almost a year of working and finding out if that's what I want. I have an appointment tomorrow with an adviser and I'm going to find out as much as I can. My mom is coming up this weekend to talk a bit more with me. This is a Huge deal for me. I'm at a crossroads in my life and I'm stuck. I don't know what to do....I do want to go back to school eventually when I'm fresh and ready for it, but I just don't have the heart for it right now...
We all come to a time in our lives where we have to make a decision that will change our lives forever, this is one of those times for me and I don't know how to make it....
I'm hoping beyond hope that things turn out alright in the end...
-Sketch
Well, I quit my job, but the focus on school didn't come like I wanted it too. Lately the only thing I can think of is how much I hate it and how much I don't want to be here anymore...I've been going to school for about 16 years of my life, STRAIGHT!, and I'm tired of it and burnt out. I have no passion or desire to learn anything anymore and it's hard for me to even get out of bed in the morning, or do my homework like a good student. I just don't care anymore. I know I should, and I beat myself up over this, but nothing works....I go back to sleep instead of getting up to catch the bus, I watch TV or fiddle on the computer instead of doing homework and I hang out with Joe to stay out of my room where my books are. I hate school....I don't even like being on campus anymore. I tell myself to get stuff done instead of sitting around, but I never do...
I know that everyone's had their moment of being burnt out, but this isn't just a moment, this has lasted since the summer. I'd rather be in the working world and making money to survive and pay rent and come home and do what I want instead of having to think about homework or something outside of work. I liked working, I really did. Even if it was monotonous, I loved it. It was different and the whole time I was at work I was engaged in something, not listening to someone prattle on and on about a subject I really don't want to listen to. I like being on my feet and making some good of my actions, whether it was making a fucking sandwich or doing dishes or anything. I might not want to go back to the deli, but I want to get into the restaurants. I have a passion and desire for the restaurants, even if I start as a lowly busser for the tables, that's okay with me! I was a busser before and I can do it again and work my way up the carpet ladder of the business....I feel like I belong there.
So, it's come to my attention that I can take 2 quarters off from school and not have it affect my enrollment status. That's just what I might do. Take Spring, Summer and maybe Fall off....like almost a year of working and finding out if that's what I want. I have an appointment tomorrow with an adviser and I'm going to find out as much as I can. My mom is coming up this weekend to talk a bit more with me. This is a Huge deal for me. I'm at a crossroads in my life and I'm stuck. I don't know what to do....I do want to go back to school eventually when I'm fresh and ready for it, but I just don't have the heart for it right now...
We all come to a time in our lives where we have to make a decision that will change our lives forever, this is one of those times for me and I don't know how to make it....
I'm hoping beyond hope that things turn out alright in the end...
-Sketch