So It's Been Awhile....
And life gives you some twists and turns that you aren't expecting....Kinda gets you to a point where you think you're stuck. Then you take a moment to stand back and look around you and you see all the people who care about you and stand beside you to support you and you can't help but feel better about the situation.
Life has been hectic. I'd talk about part of it right now, but she's in the room with me. Amber is living up in Bellingham now and I'm trying to help her get on her feet. She's had a few job interviews, but no job yet and it's getting nerve wracking....Hopefully this last one she'll land a job and I don't have to be strained anymore.
Joe and I have had our ups and downs, more downs than ups lately. But I've tried to keep a smile on my face and take things lightly, but with so much hanging over my head lately, I've been taking it out on him unknowingly. Tonight was kind of the last straw for him and we had a slight arguement, but it ended on good terms and we have a date night tomorrow where it's only him and I, the world wont exist to us tomorrow, only each other. It'll be nice to relax and let everything slide off my shoulders for a time. I really do have strong feelings for this man and I don't want to fuck anything up this time. "The heart communes best when it tries not to speak." Words can't express how I feel about him and I want to hold onto this for as long as I can. I hope we can make it through the winter.
Deidra and Copper aren't doing the best at the house right now. He makes the downstairs of the house uncomfortable for her and she doesn't like hanging out down here when the dog is out and about. She says the dog smell is bothering her too. And Copper has separation anxiety and whines and cries whenever I leave the house and she's tired of taking care of him. But Amber helps out a bit when she's around and looks after Copper instead of Diedra....But from what I've been told it might get so bad that Diedra wants me to get rid of the dog. I've told them that if the dog leaves, then I leave and they'll have to find a new roommate. Honestly, I'm thinking about that more and more since I have so many rules in this damn house it feels like I'm living with my parents again. And rather than ruin my relationships with my brother and Diedra, I'll move out.
And to top it off is School and work. I get to juggle all sorts of things right now and my life is hectic and taking some interesting twists and turns. I'm taking a light quarter right now, because I knew that life was going to be rough for a while....So School is still going well. I love my classes and it's going to be pretty easy. Work is awesome, got my hours cut back a bit for school so I wont be making that much money anymore. I'm a little bummed about that. Living paycheck to paycheck is going to be even more crunched than usual...>.< So right now, I'm not looking forward to waking up in the mornings and I need something to cling to. I've got Copper and Joe. The two men in my life that make me smile. And I barely get any time to myself except like an hour here or there and it's starting to wear on me and grate me down further and further until I feel like I'm going to snap....
However if you saw me on the street, I'd look as happy and as carefree as can be. I'm good at hiding behind a smile and letting people think that I'm okay and letting only those who I really care about know the truth. Amber doesn't even know the half of it, because she's a good part of it.....I'm a little stuck and lost at this point and can only go one day at a time until things look up. I hope they change soon, I don't know how much more of this I can take. It may only seem like a few petty things, but stacked up, it sucks....
Hopefully tomorrow makes me feel like a queen and I can slide out from under my stack of burdens and be free from it all for a while...
Good luck to me.
I love you guys.
Au Revior
-Sketch
Life has been hectic. I'd talk about part of it right now, but she's in the room with me. Amber is living up in Bellingham now and I'm trying to help her get on her feet. She's had a few job interviews, but no job yet and it's getting nerve wracking....Hopefully this last one she'll land a job and I don't have to be strained anymore.
Joe and I have had our ups and downs, more downs than ups lately. But I've tried to keep a smile on my face and take things lightly, but with so much hanging over my head lately, I've been taking it out on him unknowingly. Tonight was kind of the last straw for him and we had a slight arguement, but it ended on good terms and we have a date night tomorrow where it's only him and I, the world wont exist to us tomorrow, only each other. It'll be nice to relax and let everything slide off my shoulders for a time. I really do have strong feelings for this man and I don't want to fuck anything up this time. "The heart communes best when it tries not to speak." Words can't express how I feel about him and I want to hold onto this for as long as I can. I hope we can make it through the winter.
Deidra and Copper aren't doing the best at the house right now. He makes the downstairs of the house uncomfortable for her and she doesn't like hanging out down here when the dog is out and about. She says the dog smell is bothering her too. And Copper has separation anxiety and whines and cries whenever I leave the house and she's tired of taking care of him. But Amber helps out a bit when she's around and looks after Copper instead of Diedra....But from what I've been told it might get so bad that Diedra wants me to get rid of the dog. I've told them that if the dog leaves, then I leave and they'll have to find a new roommate. Honestly, I'm thinking about that more and more since I have so many rules in this damn house it feels like I'm living with my parents again. And rather than ruin my relationships with my brother and Diedra, I'll move out.
And to top it off is School and work. I get to juggle all sorts of things right now and my life is hectic and taking some interesting twists and turns. I'm taking a light quarter right now, because I knew that life was going to be rough for a while....So School is still going well. I love my classes and it's going to be pretty easy. Work is awesome, got my hours cut back a bit for school so I wont be making that much money anymore. I'm a little bummed about that. Living paycheck to paycheck is going to be even more crunched than usual...>.< So right now, I'm not looking forward to waking up in the mornings and I need something to cling to. I've got Copper and Joe. The two men in my life that make me smile. And I barely get any time to myself except like an hour here or there and it's starting to wear on me and grate me down further and further until I feel like I'm going to snap....
However if you saw me on the street, I'd look as happy and as carefree as can be. I'm good at hiding behind a smile and letting people think that I'm okay and letting only those who I really care about know the truth. Amber doesn't even know the half of it, because she's a good part of it.....I'm a little stuck and lost at this point and can only go one day at a time until things look up. I hope they change soon, I don't know how much more of this I can take. It may only seem like a few petty things, but stacked up, it sucks....
Hopefully tomorrow makes me feel like a queen and I can slide out from under my stack of burdens and be free from it all for a while...
Good luck to me.
I love you guys.
Au Revior
-Sketch