(no subject)
What I can't understand is why I'm going through hell trying to figure out what happened with my situation and why I couldn't have fixed it or done anything to make it better. How there was nothing I could have said or done to make everything ok and yet even though I'm going through such trauma I am still the one who is fixing Vic and his girlfriend's relationship. Yep, that's right - ME - the girl she hates is the one making sure that they don't break up. Is it going to make my life any easier? Absolutely not. Is it something that I want to do? Not at all. But I'm still doing it. I'm still the one mediating the process to make it ok - making it possible for everyone to communicate in order to better their relationship with each other and in order to continue on. Why is it that I'm bending over backwards to help out a pair of people who so obviously have done nothing for me but making my life difficult since getting together? I can't even deal with my own crap and yet I'm taking on other people's stuff and trying to fix whatever is wrong with their life. Is it because there's no helping mine so I feel like I have to make something better in order to be ok with what's going on with me? Or am I just that messed up to where I have to save everyone from whatever they're going through?