(no subject)
People irritate the hell out of me!
Saturday night at like 3am I get a text from J (my phone wasn't on me because I would have KILLED him if he had woken me up). Anyway, the text (which I should have saved) said something like, "Life's too short not to let the people you care about know. You made me happy and I just want to tell you that." So when I woke up I sent a text back asking if he was drunk and never got a response. So I figured, whatever, he was drunk.
My phone rings about 20 minutes ago and it's him and he askes if I want to go to dinner and I say no. Then I get the sob story about people dying and his dog attacking another dog and he got stuck with the bill. Blah. Blah. Blah. Then I have to hear about how he didn't get paid the week he was in Germany and how the money he used to fix the other dog was supposed to help pay the mortgage. I'm like quit the crap already.
So he went on and on and on about how I made him happy when we were together and then he said something about how he's not trying to win me back because we both know it doesn't work and I said that should make you happy because it sucked. Then he's like oh so you're trying to be funny. I was like no, I just don't care. I've worked through it. I made my peace with it. I'm over it. He, of course, had to say I'm aware that I don't mean as much to you as you mean to me but it has to be nice to hear and I'm trying to mend fences. I told him that there was no fences to mend. Everything is OK and he doesn't need to apologize for anything.
Of course, the douchebag, has to follow that up with, "you know, everything isn't always about you". And at this point I'm totally irritated with the situation and was like. "Yeah it is. Everything is about me. I'm self-centered. That hasn't changed." Then, he comes out with "well I'm sorry I called and obviously took you away from something that was very important". So I got pissed and was like "Don't get all emo on me" so he denied his emo-ness.
Anyway, eventually he said that he was home and getting off the phone. I am just so ticked off! I don't care if he wants to mend fences and he wants to be there for me now. Now doesn't do anything for me. Now doesn't help. If you're not going to be there for me TWICE, then I'm not going to let you make ammends for it when you're ready to. Maybe that makes me a bitch and cold, but people can't deny someone they love of support only to give it when it doesn't matter. I don't want to pretend like things are OK because they're not OK. I'm OK. I'm OK with what happened but I'm not OK with him. I don't need him. He really has no place in my life right now and can't really offer anything that I don't already have.
He's all about status and outdoing me anyway. Seriously, he has a job developing courses and writing textbooks. It's not my dream job by any means, but it's writing and it's good for the resume, but he's doing it. Same thing when we were together and someone he worked with wrote a book and he decided to take on the PR for her. PR is my thing. He knew that. He knew I was in school to do that and yet he took it for himself when he can't even spell. You can't put out a press release with poor spelling and/or grammar. It's just pathetic. It's like he's always one upping me. Anything I can do, he can do better and he can't.
The last thing I need is more trauma due to him...or anyone for that matter. UGH. Just UGH!
Saturday night at like 3am I get a text from J (my phone wasn't on me because I would have KILLED him if he had woken me up). Anyway, the text (which I should have saved) said something like, "Life's too short not to let the people you care about know. You made me happy and I just want to tell you that." So when I woke up I sent a text back asking if he was drunk and never got a response. So I figured, whatever, he was drunk.
My phone rings about 20 minutes ago and it's him and he askes if I want to go to dinner and I say no. Then I get the sob story about people dying and his dog attacking another dog and he got stuck with the bill. Blah. Blah. Blah. Then I have to hear about how he didn't get paid the week he was in Germany and how the money he used to fix the other dog was supposed to help pay the mortgage. I'm like quit the crap already.
So he went on and on and on about how I made him happy when we were together and then he said something about how he's not trying to win me back because we both know it doesn't work and I said that should make you happy because it sucked. Then he's like oh so you're trying to be funny. I was like no, I just don't care. I've worked through it. I made my peace with it. I'm over it. He, of course, had to say I'm aware that I don't mean as much to you as you mean to me but it has to be nice to hear and I'm trying to mend fences. I told him that there was no fences to mend. Everything is OK and he doesn't need to apologize for anything.
Of course, the douchebag, has to follow that up with, "you know, everything isn't always about you". And at this point I'm totally irritated with the situation and was like. "Yeah it is. Everything is about me. I'm self-centered. That hasn't changed." Then, he comes out with "well I'm sorry I called and obviously took you away from something that was very important". So I got pissed and was like "Don't get all emo on me" so he denied his emo-ness.
Anyway, eventually he said that he was home and getting off the phone. I am just so ticked off! I don't care if he wants to mend fences and he wants to be there for me now. Now doesn't do anything for me. Now doesn't help. If you're not going to be there for me TWICE, then I'm not going to let you make ammends for it when you're ready to. Maybe that makes me a bitch and cold, but people can't deny someone they love of support only to give it when it doesn't matter. I don't want to pretend like things are OK because they're not OK. I'm OK. I'm OK with what happened but I'm not OK with him. I don't need him. He really has no place in my life right now and can't really offer anything that I don't already have.
He's all about status and outdoing me anyway. Seriously, he has a job developing courses and writing textbooks. It's not my dream job by any means, but it's writing and it's good for the resume, but he's doing it. Same thing when we were together and someone he worked with wrote a book and he decided to take on the PR for her. PR is my thing. He knew that. He knew I was in school to do that and yet he took it for himself when he can't even spell. You can't put out a press release with poor spelling and/or grammar. It's just pathetic. It's like he's always one upping me. Anything I can do, he can do better and he can't.
The last thing I need is more trauma due to him...or anyone for that matter. UGH. Just UGH!