What's the worst that could happen?
If you're stressed about the impending doom that's about to befall you from all sides, I find this is a useful metric for analyzing the situation rationally. If you start to panic while going through it, take a few deep breaths and start over.
1. What's the worst that could happen?
The purpose of this step is to figure out exactly what you are afraid will happen. Make sure that what you envision could actually happen.
2. Is it really so bad?
If the thing you fear came to pass, exactly how bad would it be? Explore all the consequences you can think of and find a sum of the good and bad that would come of it.
3. Could that actually happen?
If what you're afraid of is random, what are the exact chances of it occurring? What, if anything, can you do to prevent your fear from coming true?
The worse steps 1 and 2 are, the more effort you should put into step 3. Here's an example:
I'm afraid I will never be able to find a job.
1. If I never get a job, I'll be reliant on others for all my needs. Without them, I could end up a bum on the street.
2. I wouldn't be able to bear the lack of respect everyone would feel towards me if I was homeless. More than that, I really like having a place to sleep. This would be really, really very bad.
3. There are lots and lots of jobs out there. If I don't give up looking, there's a very high chance I will get one. The more effort I put into finding a job, the faster I will find one. Remembering what could happen if I fail should be a good motivating tool.
I guess there could be a parallel method for thinking about good things, but I'm too pessimistic to explore that. :P
1. What's the worst that could happen?
The purpose of this step is to figure out exactly what you are afraid will happen. Make sure that what you envision could actually happen.
2. Is it really so bad?
If the thing you fear came to pass, exactly how bad would it be? Explore all the consequences you can think of and find a sum of the good and bad that would come of it.
3. Could that actually happen?
If what you're afraid of is random, what are the exact chances of it occurring? What, if anything, can you do to prevent your fear from coming true?
The worse steps 1 and 2 are, the more effort you should put into step 3. Here's an example:
I'm afraid I will never be able to find a job.
1. If I never get a job, I'll be reliant on others for all my needs. Without them, I could end up a bum on the street.
2. I wouldn't be able to bear the lack of respect everyone would feel towards me if I was homeless. More than that, I really like having a place to sleep. This would be really, really very bad.
3. There are lots and lots of jobs out there. If I don't give up looking, there's a very high chance I will get one. The more effort I put into finding a job, the faster I will find one. Remembering what could happen if I fail should be a good motivating tool.
I guess there could be a parallel method for thinking about good things, but I'm too pessimistic to explore that. :P