(no subject)
I thought I was okay with this. I don't think I am. I'm not happy. Absolutely everything is making me want to cry. Fucking 30 Seconds to Mars is making me want to cry and that's just stupid.
I'm not happy sitting back, knowing that you still talk to her more than you talk to me even though you know she doesn't care about you, that she isn't interested in you as much more than a source of male attention. Even knowing that what you're doing is the same thing as what I'm doing, I'm not fucking happy. Even when she was sticking her tongue down your throat, she wasn't really interested; she was rebounding her ex who she is still, by the way, in love with, ridiculously so.
I'm not happy only seeing you for half an hour or so every other day, barely speaking to you because you're at work and busy. I'm not happy knowing you're ticklish and not being able to take full advantage of that knowledge. I'm not happy watching you flirt with customers for tips, and not being able to take you home afterwards to bite and leave marks on all the parts of your body (okay maybe not all) they'll never get to see.
Love means wanting to see you happy, right? If you were actually with someone else and happy, I don't think I'd be as miserable as I am right now. Because you don't seem to be very happy, either. I can't promise I would make you happy. I don't know as I've got any experience with making someone happy, or being happy myself. But god-fucking-damnit I would try.
I'm not happy sitting back, knowing that you still talk to her more than you talk to me even though you know she doesn't care about you, that she isn't interested in you as much more than a source of male attention. Even knowing that what you're doing is the same thing as what I'm doing, I'm not fucking happy. Even when she was sticking her tongue down your throat, she wasn't really interested; she was rebounding her ex who she is still, by the way, in love with, ridiculously so.
I'm not happy only seeing you for half an hour or so every other day, barely speaking to you because you're at work and busy. I'm not happy knowing you're ticklish and not being able to take full advantage of that knowledge. I'm not happy watching you flirt with customers for tips, and not being able to take you home afterwards to bite and leave marks on all the parts of your body (okay maybe not all) they'll never get to see.
Love means wanting to see you happy, right? If you were actually with someone else and happy, I don't think I'd be as miserable as I am right now. Because you don't seem to be very happy, either. I can't promise I would make you happy. I don't know as I've got any experience with making someone happy, or being happy myself. But god-fucking-damnit I would try.