idek you guys...

[skellywag]

This is the part where I come clean about everything that I haven't wanted to think about for the last few months. I haven't wanted to think about it, and writing about it would have been like admitting that there was really a problem. And I haven't wanted to admit there was a problem, because if it was anything I could fix, it would have been

Comments

[tailoredshirt]

Ugh, this is the most useless comment ever, but I'm so sorry. That's a terrible situation to be in, and I can't even imagine how much stress you must be under. I really hope they find a way to pull it together so can keep your car and stay on the ranch. :/

*hugs*

[skellywag]

Well, I mowed the lawn forever this weekend, so that, at least, will not be the issue that gets them (and me?) kicked out.

And also, thank you for the hugs. *Hugs back* Your comment isn't useless at all; support is nice in whatever form it comes in. I doubt there's any right answer here, anyway.

[jaylee_g]

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear about your home situation. You're such a strong lady to come out of that with your creativity, joy and sweetness intact *hugs*. I don't think you should feel guilty for your thoughts. They're very human and, dare I say it, completely normal.

You're strong, and your savvy, and I know you'll make it through this. And any time you need to vent, even if privately through PM, know that I've always got an ear open to you to listen.

[skellywag]

*hugs* Thank you for saying that, because I really don't like being a bitter person, and it's not as if I really wish any harm to come to them. It's just that I feel like people fifty or sixty who aren't debilitated mentally ought to act more grown up and mature than a twenty-five-year-old who still watches cartoons.

I sure hope so. I know I could do the job of maintaining the ranch even if my parents were evicted, but I don't know if the owner would want to keep me on after their sterling example... And being judged by my parents' faults is not something I need, ever.

[jaylee_g]

You're absolutely right. Your parents, who are well into their adulthood, twice over, should be acting more responsibly. And although I try really hard never to judge others, especially having never met them in person, I can't help but feel utter sympathy for your situation as a friend, and as a mother, myself, I find your parents' behavior, (and this is going to sound harsh but I can't help it) appalling. It is a parents' responsibility and privilege to see to it that their children have all the tools they need to be successful in life, and in failing that, sometimes through no fault of their own, at least make sure that their children are properly fed with a roof over their head. But most importantly, it is a parents' responsibility to let their children know that they are loved, unconditionally, no matter what. I feel that they've fallen short on their responsibility towards you and that makes me sad. You deserve better *hugs*.

[skellywag]

Well, I've accepted for a long time now that my parents are not exactly very parent-like. I'd like to say it makes me more self-reliant than I would otherwise be. My father was actually very supportive when I was growing up, and he's better at math than I will ever be. If not for his awful taste in women, my entire life would probably have ended up differently, because I wouldn't have moved out of his house and into my mother's halfway through high school, otherwise.

But anyway, it doesn't really bother me that my mom and stepfather aren't much like traditional parents. I'd like to say I don't really need much taking-care-of at this point. But it's irksome that they aren't even taking care of themselves.

I do deserve better! I deserve to be the live-in housekeeper of an attractive gay couple who are very affectionate with each other where I can see them. :| (This is not random. This is my secret dream even though it is hardly very ambitious.)

[flashily]

If I thought it were a viable option, I'd say get them into assisted living, but obviously if they/you can't afford the health care that could save them from their destructive behaviors - they/you won't be able to afford that.

I really hope whatever happens with them doesn't affect your ability to continue living where you are. :(

[skellywag]

My stepfather is early-retirement age, so depending upon what kind of cost it is, he might be able to afford it, but Social Security doesn't pay as much if you retire at 62 instead of 65, and I doubt it's enough income to support both him and my mother.

My mother was talking about moving back to NY to live with my aunt (who is in assisted living, I think...or something like that), but I don't think that's actually an option more than wishful thinking. My aunt isn't exactly in the greatest health, and if I were her, I wouldn't want my mom moving in.

I'm pretty sure I've at least postponed the inevitable.

[flashily]

Yeah. I really hope things work out. Like Megs, I would offer for you to come live here. We've got plenty of room, but finding a job here in Michigan is really hard unless you work fast food. D:

[ravenpirate]

Holy shit, I had no idea about any of this. That's really serious. I feel awful that I didn't know and we text each other pretty frequently. I want to offer you to come stay with us but we'd have nowhere to put you since my brother's home and taking our only spare room now nkjdsnakj. Do you have any idea of any options at all in the event that you need to find yourself a new place to live?

[skellywag]

Oh my god. No, don't feel awful. I have been hiding this from absolutely everyone. This is the first time I've talked about it at all. ><; I'm sorry, I know that I should have talked about it to you, at the very least, but jas ldkjfa sldkjf sdlkfjs It's so embarrassing to have parents like this, and to be in this situation with so little of it in my control. I didn't want to admit it, and that is completely my fault and there's no way you could have known.

My stepfather's brother offered me a place to stay if I ever need it. It's kind of a last resort, since he lives in New York and if I moved there I wouldn't have a job to pay for my stupid car. *massive hugs* But even the thought of you offering me a place (even knowing it's not possible) is ridiculously sweet and I appreciate the way it made me smile through the pain of my still-warm sunburn.

[ravenpirate]

You shouldn't be embarrassed nkdjsajk. It's not your fault at all that your parents are this way. You can't be expected to control something like this. Shit like this is what it is sometimes and it's so hard to make it change. :(

I hope you're able to stay with your stepuncle??? then if you ever need to. I imagine it's just gonna be such an inconvenience to you to have to go out and find another job and especially in New York. ♥

[skellywag]

I want the control though. With a leash and a taser if necessary >| Unfortunately I don't think anyone with half a brain would let me have a taser.

Hee stepuncle... But yeah, I hope things work themselves out here, because I really don't want to go through all that grief in New York. I don't remember where in NY he lives, but I believe it is more rural than Albany, which would make getting a job there a headache. And any job I got there wouldn't allow me the flexibility of the one I have.