(no subject)
today was kyle's funeral. i saw so many people come out and show their love and support for his family, especialy his brothers. i normally can hold things back fairly well, but today i failed at my emotion bottling. it took until that moment that the ceremony started to hit me, and i let loose. i let go. and it poored out of me. i know that for a lot of you in attedance that was the first time you ever saw me cry(i was sitting next to heather and i think i scared her). for even more thats the first time you ever saw any real emotion coming out of me. this last week has been hell. and it finally took it's tole. but i feel better now. now we need to help his family begin to grieve and deal with this in their own ways. at the showing yesterday i didn't see too many pictures of kyle with friends, so i gave his dad a picture of me, him, and melvin sitting on a log in vets park, from shit, like 3 years ago. i remember that day like it was yesterday. walking round the park, raising hell with joggers, playing on the shores of our beloved industrial waisteland...kyle and melvin being attacked by angry ducks. this is the important thing to do. remember him as he was, a fun loving, spikey haired goofball. the kyle we knew and loved. the kyle who would have gotten a real kick out of a good chance to hold up trafic for the better part of a mile and run 11 red lights. i miss you, we all miss you. and i especially am jealous because you now know what happens after you go. and i know your somewhere, with all the answers to all the mysteries of the universe and beyond, just laughing you punk rock ass off at all of us. and some day, who knows when, we will listen to rancid in the rain and smoke ciggarettes again. with love. good bye my friend. you will be missed.