when i die i will finally fall asleep.
thats the title for my next piece.
so i called up kathy today and we met up for some lunch at 3rd ave. cafe. ive never been there before and they were pretty decent. i havent seen her in a while ever since she graduated and we talked for a good 3 hours about everything, especially art. it was nice hearing encouragement from an objective source. i know every time i try to ask scott he answers with a question, i can question myself. i just need him as a teacher to give me a nod or say something to tell me im still in the right direction. ive been spending alot of time in the art library here recently reading and researching artists and different ways of thought. i have to start writing my artists statement here pretty soon too. i have about four different ideas working in my head right now and i think im just going to go ahead and do them all so theyre not in my head, taking up space anymore. kathy and i were talking about why i focus on death alot in my art. i came to the conclusion that i do that because i know that it is my end goal and because i am aware of my end goal i can focus more on living my life and experiencing different things. thats really all i want to do is to experience and know everything, even if its painful, hurtful, or not at all in my best interest.
i realized today that i sort of want to go to graduate school. maybe get my MFA. wow, what a long road that will be. i noticed that for the past four years i havent slept. ive only napped. since sleeping constitutes 7 or more hours i havent had that. 5 or less for me. and thats everyday too. on the days i have the chance to sleep i dont. i feel like im wasting my day like the hours are too precious or could be spent doing something else besides sleeping. i feel like im missing out on something when im asleep. i think its just me trying to do everything. i also realized that i want to move. maybe live in another state for a few years then come back here. i want to do something different, i cant settle for things i have just because theyre convenient.
so i called up kathy today and we met up for some lunch at 3rd ave. cafe. ive never been there before and they were pretty decent. i havent seen her in a while ever since she graduated and we talked for a good 3 hours about everything, especially art. it was nice hearing encouragement from an objective source. i know every time i try to ask scott he answers with a question, i can question myself. i just need him as a teacher to give me a nod or say something to tell me im still in the right direction. ive been spending alot of time in the art library here recently reading and researching artists and different ways of thought. i have to start writing my artists statement here pretty soon too. i have about four different ideas working in my head right now and i think im just going to go ahead and do them all so theyre not in my head, taking up space anymore. kathy and i were talking about why i focus on death alot in my art. i came to the conclusion that i do that because i know that it is my end goal and because i am aware of my end goal i can focus more on living my life and experiencing different things. thats really all i want to do is to experience and know everything, even if its painful, hurtful, or not at all in my best interest.
i realized today that i sort of want to go to graduate school. maybe get my MFA. wow, what a long road that will be. i noticed that for the past four years i havent slept. ive only napped. since sleeping constitutes 7 or more hours i havent had that. 5 or less for me. and thats everyday too. on the days i have the chance to sleep i dont. i feel like im wasting my day like the hours are too precious or could be spent doing something else besides sleeping. i feel like im missing out on something when im asleep. i think its just me trying to do everything. i also realized that i want to move. maybe live in another state for a few years then come back here. i want to do something different, i cant settle for things i have just because theyre convenient.