On the first day of Christmas, the governor gave to me...a farce and some hillarity!
It started with (Catholic) Governor Gregoire lighting a menorah to show respect for the Jewish people. A Christian (quite correctly) pointed out that this was a state endorsement of religion. Incorrectly, to my mind, the G decided that this anti-constitutional behavior could be solved by giving any religion free rein to create a display in the capitol. The menorah wasn't repeated this year, but the ruling still stands, so...
A Christian fellow promptly acted on this by erecting a nativity scene in the Capitol.
An atheist posted a sign (In one of the worst PR moves ever, this sign had basically nothing positive to recommend it. Seriously - do you want people to join you, or do you just want to prove you're more righteous? The latter is disgusting -- I'm biased in favor of atheism, but also in favor of civility).
The atheist sign was stolen! Oh noes! And returned! Look! The Washington state capitol is on Faux news!
Wait, only Christianity and atheism are represented in the state capitol? What about the REST OF US? Quick! Apply to put a Festivus Pole in the state capitol!
YOUR DISRESPECT HAS ANGERED FRED PHELPS. Hate-mobile to the rescue! Did you think the atheist sign was a little strongly worded? Try this sign instead: "SANTA CLAUS WILL TAKE YOU TO HELL!"
Stand up and take notice! This may be the only time I am ever grateful to Phelps! Yes, sir, your hateful contribution to the holiday display farce manages to make the absurdity and impracticality of the situation clear in a way that even the Festivus pole couldn't. Your screed of fear is more laughable than a grievance holiday made popular by a sitcom, and sir, I think you may just be forcing us back to the only fair and enforceable way of ensuring church/state separation -- Not allowing ANY OF THIS SHIT in the state capitol!
Wait! I feel a song coming on!
On the first day of December, the governor gave to me
A menorah and a nativity
On the second day of December, the governor gave to me
An atheist manifesto
A menorah and nativity!
On the third day of December, the governor gave to me
Somebody stealing
the atheist manifesto
A menorah and nativity!
On the fourth day of December, the governor gave to me
National attention for
Somebody stealng
the atheist manifesto,
A menorah and a nativity!
On the fifth day of December, the governor gave to me
A fest-i-vus pole!
National attention
for somebody stealing
the atheist manifesto,
A menorah and nativity!
On the sixth day of December, the governor gave to me
A moron from Kansas
A fest-i-vus pole!
National attention
for somebody stealing
the atheist manifesto,
A menorah and nativity!
On the seventh day of December, the governor gave to me
Threats of damnation from
Th moron in Kansas
A fest-i-vus pole!
National attention
Somebody stealing
An atheist manifesto,
A menorah and nativity!
On the eighth day of December, to the governor I plea;
Free the public buildings from
Threats of damnation from
The moron in Kansas
the fest-i-vus pole!
National attention
Somebody stealing
the atheist manifesto,
Restore our Secularity!
NB: this song addressed to the governor only because it was her well-meaning by foolish behavior that started the whole chain of events.