10 songs challenge #2
i have been having the worst writer's block for ages now, so i decided to give this another try to see if it would fuel me with some much needed inspiration. (it didn't.)
they're all brendon/ryan, or at least is intended to be. i did this in the middle of the night one day, so if this seem like gibberish to you, then you're probably right.
1. probably - kevin devine
It's a slow night. Hardly anyone comes in and of the few who do, practically no one leaves Brendon any tips.
"Fuck this," he says to Greta backstage after having performed a half-hour show for three people. She curls her fingers delicately around his chin and jawline, stroking her thumb reassuringly over the smooth skin.
"It'll get better, you know," she says, confident like always. Brendon smiles, reaching out to comb through her golden curls. He finds that always helps.
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it."
When he comes back out, there's a guy with an intense stare, hazel coloured orbs and smooth hair on the first row. The guy licks his lips once, crossing his arms.
2. do you know what i'm seeing? - panic at the disco
It's a nice day. The breeze is soft and the sun's not too warm or intense. Which is kind of rare in Vegas. Brendon decides to enjoy it fully by finding a patch of green in his backyard that seems comfortable, and lie down.
He squints his eyes at the sun and counts clouds as they float by. It really is a nice day.
It's been a few hours, he thinks, when someone way too familiar lies down next to him.
"Hey," Ryan says and Brendon reach over to pinch his arm without looking.
"Ouch, you fucker, that hurt," Ryan says, but laughs.
"Just checking to see if you were real, is all," Brendon says, smiling.
3. find comfort in yourself - midtown
Things happen so fast. It's like they barely have time to meet and get to know each other, make some songs, play just to play, before suddenly there's a record deal and they are acquaintances with Fall Out Boy. It's like the dream that wasn't supposed to be, but it is and it is amazing, and Brendon honestly doesn't know what to do. He talks it over with himself in his head again and again, and comes to the same conclusion every time: Take this chance, you asshole.
4. strength through music - amanda palmer
"It's raining," Brendon's mom shouts, "you better take an umbrella with you!" and Brendon takes it as a sign. There's something off about the whole day, he can feel it in his bones, by the way his toes curl and the uncomfortable fluttering in his stomach. He still eats his breakfast, though, slowly, to drag out the time until there is no time left.
When the doorbell rings he feels like puking, but he opens it and grabs an umbrella on the way out.
"Are you ready?" Ryan smiles at him. No, he thinks, then says, "As ready as I'll ever be, I guess," closing the door behind him as he steps out into the rain.
5. land locked blues - bright eyes
Brendon's walked for days when he finally breaks down. It's by a railway in the middle of nowhere, right where it splits and the train can either choose taking left or right. It's all too familiar, brings back too many memories.
"Fuck," he whispers, tumbling down to the ground. "Fuck!" he shouts, loud, slamming his fist to the ground so spurts of dirt shoot into the air. The first tear runs silent down his chin, the second too, maybe even the third. Then the first sob leaves Brendon's throat and he can't stop.
6. i can't stay - the killers
They stay in bed, huddled under the covers, breathing the same air. It's easy and carefree and Brendon pinches Ryan's thigh playfully. Ryan laughs and kisses him. The battling of tongues start soon after, then heated breaths and hot skin on hot skin.
"I have to go," Brendon says reluctantly, and Ryan whines. Brendon whines too, kisses him again, laughing a little. "I really have to go, though. Sorry."
7. punk rock princess - something corporate
They first lock eyes across the room. The music is pumping through his veins, his blood speeding up. Brendon drinks of his plastic cup and dares the hazel eyes on the other side of the room to do the same. Hazel eyes does - he tips his head back and swallows down a good portion of his drink. Brendon smiles, walks closer towards the centre of the room, moving slowly, like a predator out for his prey. Hazel eyes does the same and, eventually, they meet halfway.
"Hey, I'm Brendon," Brendon says confidently, drinking the remaining content of his cup, throwing it over his shoulder when he's done.
Hazel eyes smiles, says, "I'm Ryan."
8. the next best thing - all time low
It's their first show ever, and Brendon is nervous. He bites his nails and thrums fingers on his thigh uncontrollably. It's not that he thinks they, or even him, can't do this, it's just that now that they're here, he thinks that maybe they should've practice for a bit longer. Kids are expecting something great and he's not sure if he can give them "great" tonight. His throat is sore and his fingers ache from feverishly playing the guitar all night, trying to memorize all of it.
Ryan approaches him, pale as a ghost. "Hey," he says, and Brendon can't help but to notice the nervous twitch of his fingers.
9. darkness - third eye blind
One day the power goes out all over the city. It's weird looking at Las Vegas when it doesn't have all the sparkly signs and blinking lights covering the streets; it looks almost normal like that, dark.
They watch it from a hilltop not too far away from their houses. Ryan came knocking on Brendon's bedroom window not even ten minutes after everything went black, convincing Brendon to come along. And he said yes, as he always does when it comes to Ryan. (Why would he say no?) On their way to the hill they run down the streets, laughing at nothing in particular. It feels nice. The sky is clear black and the stars shine especially bright that evening.
10. of moons, birds & monsters - mgmt
The roads blend into one long one, but he doesn't mind. The bus stops every now and then to refuel, and most times it looks the same when he walks out of the small, moving area and enters the real world, but he doesn't mind that either. It makes the whole 'leaving home behind to go on a world tour for the first time' a little less scary.
They're in Europe somewhere when the bus stops for an entire half-hour. Brendon steps off the bus, tired from doing nothing. Jon yawns behind him and Spencer falls flat on his face when he misses the last step of the short staircase. Ryan steps off last, looking pretty unfazed by it all.
they're all brendon/ryan, or at least is intended to be. i did this in the middle of the night one day, so if this seem like gibberish to you, then you're probably right.
1. probably - kevin devine
It's a slow night. Hardly anyone comes in and of the few who do, practically no one leaves Brendon any tips.
"Fuck this," he says to Greta backstage after having performed a half-hour show for three people. She curls her fingers delicately around his chin and jawline, stroking her thumb reassuringly over the smooth skin.
"It'll get better, you know," she says, confident like always. Brendon smiles, reaching out to comb through her golden curls. He finds that always helps.
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it."
When he comes back out, there's a guy with an intense stare, hazel coloured orbs and smooth hair on the first row. The guy licks his lips once, crossing his arms.
2. do you know what i'm seeing? - panic at the disco
It's a nice day. The breeze is soft and the sun's not too warm or intense. Which is kind of rare in Vegas. Brendon decides to enjoy it fully by finding a patch of green in his backyard that seems comfortable, and lie down.
He squints his eyes at the sun and counts clouds as they float by. It really is a nice day.
It's been a few hours, he thinks, when someone way too familiar lies down next to him.
"Hey," Ryan says and Brendon reach over to pinch his arm without looking.
"Ouch, you fucker, that hurt," Ryan says, but laughs.
"Just checking to see if you were real, is all," Brendon says, smiling.
3. find comfort in yourself - midtown
Things happen so fast. It's like they barely have time to meet and get to know each other, make some songs, play just to play, before suddenly there's a record deal and they are acquaintances with Fall Out Boy. It's like the dream that wasn't supposed to be, but it is and it is amazing, and Brendon honestly doesn't know what to do. He talks it over with himself in his head again and again, and comes to the same conclusion every time: Take this chance, you asshole.
4. strength through music - amanda palmer
"It's raining," Brendon's mom shouts, "you better take an umbrella with you!" and Brendon takes it as a sign. There's something off about the whole day, he can feel it in his bones, by the way his toes curl and the uncomfortable fluttering in his stomach. He still eats his breakfast, though, slowly, to drag out the time until there is no time left.
When the doorbell rings he feels like puking, but he opens it and grabs an umbrella on the way out.
"Are you ready?" Ryan smiles at him. No, he thinks, then says, "As ready as I'll ever be, I guess," closing the door behind him as he steps out into the rain.
5. land locked blues - bright eyes
Brendon's walked for days when he finally breaks down. It's by a railway in the middle of nowhere, right where it splits and the train can either choose taking left or right. It's all too familiar, brings back too many memories.
"Fuck," he whispers, tumbling down to the ground. "Fuck!" he shouts, loud, slamming his fist to the ground so spurts of dirt shoot into the air. The first tear runs silent down his chin, the second too, maybe even the third. Then the first sob leaves Brendon's throat and he can't stop.
6. i can't stay - the killers
They stay in bed, huddled under the covers, breathing the same air. It's easy and carefree and Brendon pinches Ryan's thigh playfully. Ryan laughs and kisses him. The battling of tongues start soon after, then heated breaths and hot skin on hot skin.
"I have to go," Brendon says reluctantly, and Ryan whines. Brendon whines too, kisses him again, laughing a little. "I really have to go, though. Sorry."
7. punk rock princess - something corporate
They first lock eyes across the room. The music is pumping through his veins, his blood speeding up. Brendon drinks of his plastic cup and dares the hazel eyes on the other side of the room to do the same. Hazel eyes does - he tips his head back and swallows down a good portion of his drink. Brendon smiles, walks closer towards the centre of the room, moving slowly, like a predator out for his prey. Hazel eyes does the same and, eventually, they meet halfway.
"Hey, I'm Brendon," Brendon says confidently, drinking the remaining content of his cup, throwing it over his shoulder when he's done.
Hazel eyes smiles, says, "I'm Ryan."
8. the next best thing - all time low
It's their first show ever, and Brendon is nervous. He bites his nails and thrums fingers on his thigh uncontrollably. It's not that he thinks they, or even him, can't do this, it's just that now that they're here, he thinks that maybe they should've practice for a bit longer. Kids are expecting something great and he's not sure if he can give them "great" tonight. His throat is sore and his fingers ache from feverishly playing the guitar all night, trying to memorize all of it.
Ryan approaches him, pale as a ghost. "Hey," he says, and Brendon can't help but to notice the nervous twitch of his fingers.
9. darkness - third eye blind
One day the power goes out all over the city. It's weird looking at Las Vegas when it doesn't have all the sparkly signs and blinking lights covering the streets; it looks almost normal like that, dark.
They watch it from a hilltop not too far away from their houses. Ryan came knocking on Brendon's bedroom window not even ten minutes after everything went black, convincing Brendon to come along. And he said yes, as he always does when it comes to Ryan. (Why would he say no?) On their way to the hill they run down the streets, laughing at nothing in particular. It feels nice. The sky is clear black and the stars shine especially bright that evening.
10. of moons, birds & monsters - mgmt
The roads blend into one long one, but he doesn't mind. The bus stops every now and then to refuel, and most times it looks the same when he walks out of the small, moving area and enters the real world, but he doesn't mind that either. It makes the whole 'leaving home behind to go on a world tour for the first time' a little less scary.
They're in Europe somewhere when the bus stops for an entire half-hour. Brendon steps off the bus, tired from doing nothing. Jon yawns behind him and Spencer falls flat on his face when he misses the last step of the short staircase. Ryan steps off last, looking pretty unfazed by it all.