(Untitled)

[skeletontreex]

So, I finished my fic today, the one I've been working on for awhile now. I don't entirely agree with the outcome but here you go anyway :]

Title: Conviction
Author: skeletontreex
Rating: R
Pairing(s)/Character(s): James/Lily, Severus
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and it's characters belong to JK Rowling
Warnings: None in particular...?
Notes: Post-

Comments

[captainlora]

Okay. So. Feedback. <3

It took me longer to get around to reading this than I meant it to, sorry about that. But I did promise I'd leave you feedback when I did.

First off, I very much like it, but I'm trying to pull myself into actual reviewer mode here and flag at least one or two things as you said you wanted feedback as opposed to just praise, it was very enjoyable though, and I very much liked reading it~ Just to get that out there.

you told me you didn't like the ending. I can -sort- of see why. But only sort of. I like the way you've chosen to end it, I think it shows a progression of the characters thoughts and more of the fact they're becoming Lily&James rather than Lily and James if that visually makes any sense. The whole, getting engaged thing, they're meant to be closer, and he has to have some influence over her. So I did like that! I would also not say it was too hopeful or fluffy or anything, as frankly they both spend the majority of the writing thinking about the war. Then you take the fact that any fan knows they die, so any happy ending to a story involving Lily and James is going to be bitter sweet at best, unless we're talking AU.

Which we're not.

xD;

But yeah! I like the over all idea, the only thing I'd pull up as an idea is that there could possibly have been a couple more exchanges of conversation, just two or three more lines of dialogue would probably have drawn the scene out so that James' change of tone would have sounded more sudden and dramatically argument ending in it's quietness. I mean it did anyway, but if you're wanting me to flag anything for potential improvement then that, for me at least, would be it. Literally just at the very last bit, just before he says "You think you can save everyone, just a couple more single lines in there. <3

I loved how you handled the start of their little argument though, that was very them. Very school days them as well.

It was good, a nice transition from the start of a school days argument to ending it in the mature OotP members they are at this point way. I liked it. <3 Very good job lovely! <3