(no subject)
My mom is a dirty fucking cunt scab that couldent give a shit about her own children if it cost her life. All she fucking cares about is work and her fucking boyfriend. I was trying to tell her about how Im getting an A in math as she is sitting on the computer reading her emails and all she could fucking say is "oh, you Colleen!" Its like Im not even fucking there. Im just some fucking annoying racket in the background that she cant wait to get away from. Shes home 2 nights a week and during those 2 nights she spends 95% of that time on the phone, on the computer or sleeping. She couldent care less about the fucking children she gave birth to. Fuck her, fuck her down to fucking hell. You do shit all for this family. She hasent boughten us grocerys in 2 months. When Rachel came to visit she gave me like 30 bucks to feed both of us for a weekend. She is making more money now then she has in my entire existence and nobody has any fucking clue what she spends it on. She must secretly be doing coke or something cause lord knows that moneys not going towards food. If I want anything I have to find a way to get it for myself. "Oh Jessy, I have to get you a new jacket because its getting cold," she said that a month ago, did I get a fucking jacket? NO! "Oh Jess, I will buy you minutes for your phone because I never want you to be somewhere where I can't contact you," did she buy me fucking minutes for my phone? FUCK NO SHE DIDNT! When she got home I told her I bought $30 worth of minutes for my phone. What was her response? "Oh." Yeah, fucking "oh". Dont fucking bother paying it back because you want me to be safe or fucking buy me that jacket because you dont want me to be sick. Ive been sick with a fucking cold for 2 weeks and she didnt even do as much as fucking buy me cough drops. She didnt even come home to keep me company. She cant wait for the fucking second she can rush out the apartment door and spend 20 dollars on gas to drive to Surrey to fuck her stupid fucking boyfriend. Fuck this. I dont fucking deserve this. She promised me that we would stay in Maple Ridge so I woulden't have to transfer schools for the 8th time and she dosent even fucking live here with us. All I wanted was that one fucking year to be a fucking family and she just had to go fuck it up. You selfish bitch. I fucking hate you. I dont deserve this. All the shit you put me through. You dont fucking care. You dont even know who the fuck I am anymore. I cant even look at you without feeling red and enraged from the tip of my ears to the bottoms of my feet. You make my blood fucking boil with resentment. You even had the nerve to go off about how stressful you day was yesterday because you got lost downtown in the parkade. I only fucking asked you how your life was cause I have no fucking idea what you do anymore. Who you are. What you like. What your goal in life is. Why the fuck are you doing this to me? Do you regret ever fucking having me? Do you not want me anymore? Why the fuck is this happening. I just want to be fucking happy. Is that possible? To have a loving mother to support, nuture and care for me like I had when I was little? If only I could fucking say this to you. You fucking bitch. I hope one day you realize the pain you have put your children through. And I hope it makes you hurt, makes you ache, makes you so fucking nauseous that you cant even fucking stomach it. I wish you could feel the pain I have felt. Because the only person that derserves to go through this pain is you.