I woke up and thirty years passed
I really don't have anything interesting to talk about. My life has become this routine of mediocrity so there really isn't anything new to report. Well, the only things I really have to report on are all my plans falling through. Internship is still up in the air, job has become just this thing I do to pass the time, travel plans have been shot/postponed, life overall feels stagnant.
I've also noticed that the days are passing me by faster. At first I thought this was a good thing. I just gotta wait out to hear about internship or something else. Then I remembered a the cliche of "waking up and realizing thirty years have passed and that the temporary job I got out of desperation was my career". I can see how that happens to people now. It's all too easy to get sucked into a routine without attaining your goals. True, I've only been doing this for a few months but I'm already bored with my life and the past few weeks have just been something to trudge through. I know what I want but I feel like I'm doing nothing to try and get it. The only thing I've done is talk to my manager about cross training so I can get more hours and by default get out of this house. I've made no effort to make any like minded friends that I desperately need here. As for art, well you can probably tell, I'm completely unmotivated and disillusioned. I'm not happy with my work anymore and I feel like I'm putting too many expectations on what I'd like it to be.
No more excuses. No more procrastinating. If I want my life to change I need to put fourth the effort. My dreams are not going to fall out of the sky for me. I want to make friends: I need to get out of the house and quit being so anxious about talking to people I don't know. Granted, I've never really had friends outside of work or school but it's time to learn how and where to meet new people. I'm displeased with my work: it's time to draw everyday and push my limits. I'm unmotivated: force myself to get things done.
It's time to grow up.
I've also noticed that the days are passing me by faster. At first I thought this was a good thing. I just gotta wait out to hear about internship or something else. Then I remembered a the cliche of "waking up and realizing thirty years have passed and that the temporary job I got out of desperation was my career". I can see how that happens to people now. It's all too easy to get sucked into a routine without attaining your goals. True, I've only been doing this for a few months but I'm already bored with my life and the past few weeks have just been something to trudge through. I know what I want but I feel like I'm doing nothing to try and get it. The only thing I've done is talk to my manager about cross training so I can get more hours and by default get out of this house. I've made no effort to make any like minded friends that I desperately need here. As for art, well you can probably tell, I'm completely unmotivated and disillusioned. I'm not happy with my work anymore and I feel like I'm putting too many expectations on what I'd like it to be.
No more excuses. No more procrastinating. If I want my life to change I need to put fourth the effort. My dreams are not going to fall out of the sky for me. I want to make friends: I need to get out of the house and quit being so anxious about talking to people I don't know. Granted, I've never really had friends outside of work or school but it's time to learn how and where to meet new people. I'm displeased with my work: it's time to draw everyday and push my limits. I'm unmotivated: force myself to get things done.
It's time to grow up.