Well. 99.9% self-esteem drop.
Thing have changed a fair amount since I last posted. I think I will start with the most dramatic change, so I can bury it with the other stuff I write about, because I want to think about it as little as possible. One of the worse things in my life. Now I see that it has probably helped a bit, but I killed at the time. Almost literally.
So here's what happened, starting as far back as I think I should go:
Last year when I moved here, I hung out with an old friend from before I move and her new friends. They were good, nice and just people I had always thought where cool. Let's just say I didn't really fit in. They were nice and didn't dis me or anything, but we didn't become immediate BBFL's, ya know?
So then, I began hanging out with Mar and Kody. They were good. We did kind of have the best friends’ quality. Mar had a whole bunch of friend on the other lunch that I didn't know, but we formed a little group on our lunch. So, new school year, new school and every body is on the same lunch. (God, I'm already starting to shake over this. It's silly) They didn't like Kody and made it obvious. She hung out with another group then, but Mar and me were still friends with her, but we hung out with Mar's old friends. They were very out going, and definitely not the type of people I would hang out with. I tried to act a bit different (stupid, yes) so they would like me and I would fit in better, because at that point, Mar was my 'best' friend here.
So I think it was in November, I noticed they seemed to be avoiding me a bit, not obviously, but I noticed. At first, I told myself it was stupid. They had been nice and they could be very blunt about people they didn't like. I kind of backed off a bit. I didn't tell Mar and she obviously didn't know. Maybe she did know, but I think she still wanted to be my friend. We hung out with some different people for a day or two (It wasn't really discussed, but just happened. Mar was trying to get two of her friends to go out), I didn't particularly like then, but they were okay. A little while later, one lunch, on a Wednesday conveniently enough, (D:<) they gave me a little note say that I was a good person (coughbullcough) but they didn't want me to hang out with them anymore. I seriously almost cried in front of some people. Luckily, some of Mar's friends (not the people ditching me, the people she was trying to hook up) weren't part of it and had no idea about what was happening, so we walked elsewhere.
I was freezing cold and shaking for the last period (The 'ring leader' was in this class. Lucky me.) and I think a bit after that. (I'm shaking again typing this. And the same kind of cold feeling. It's terrible.)
So I was a few month in school, with no friends. So for two or three days, I hung out with Kody (THANKYOUSOFREAKINGMUCH) until her and her friend had a Christian group thing, which I defiantly didn't want to join. (I am baptized, but I don't really believe.) I hung out with people from band that I knew form a day or two.
Last year on a band trip, me and another girl spent the whole time together. We hadn't talked much since, hellos and crud, and we always sat together in the one class we had together. That class (music) had brought us a bit closer than we had been since the band trip. So after I hung out with the other group from band, I began to hang out with her and her friends. Lot's of group hopping, no? Which was really scary for me, because I hate rejection (and Mar's group had killed my sense of trust. :-) (GEETHANKS)) And I'm not an outgoing person, so I normally stick to a group of people that I know. It was hard for me. I was really quiet for a while. It probably didn't help them getting to like me. Still hanging out with them for the most part.
Sometimes that goddamn voice comes back in my head and screams, "They hate you, leave them alone." And kills my progress for a little while.
Using 'progress' makes me think I'm talking to a therapist. This could have helped but anyway...
Anyway, I still have moments where I don't trust them, and I think they hate me. It really sucks, so my rollercoaster just got curvier. For the most part, it's kind of better, and if I ever get into a fight (I don't fight with friend though so whatever), or just can't hang out with them, I have some other people I know I can hang out with, which is good.
What's also really silly, is that I kept the note they gave me. The people that dissed me. It's under my drawers. I have no idea why, but I did. Maybe to keep part of me from getting to smug, and maybe I thought someone might see it if I throw it out. It kind of seems like something I failed at, which is really silly, but I guess I'm just prideful. People see me as like the smart kid that never fails, and it just transfers into my life so that sucks.
Something else that sucks, the fact that the people that dissed me, including Mar are in almost every on of my classes, this term and last. And the people I hang out with are in French immersion so they're not in any of my classes. Joy. Can't wait 'til we get our classes that we picked next year.
Still shaking. Goddamn.
The thing I found funny once, was that Kody (I think it was her, possible one of the friends she was setting up) told me that Mar was sorry and still wanted to be friends or something like that. PAH! Completely SCREWED ME UP for a while there. She's talked to me once of twice, just like hello's, etc, but I try to avoid/ignore her mostly. If she wanted to still be my friend, she could have at least not agreed with them. (The dis'ers signed the note, to show they agreed or whatever, she could have at least not.) It would have been nice for here to stick up for me, she didn't have to leave her friend to hang out with me but geez, they had each other and I had no one that I was 'close' to at that moment. I probably seem really cold to them now, I know this, I'm still pissed and try to avoid them, but to most people I don't know, I'm very shy. Sometimes I think it's probably rude, but sometimes I think I have a 'right' in a sense to be.
Wow, this is the first time I've really spilled this out. Kody asked me why I was hanging out with her more, if Mar and I had gotten into a fight, but I said I had problems with the rest of them. 'Nough said for her. She might have got the idea I didn't want to talk about it (It was like the day after). She had obviously had that problem, now that I realize it. I'm really sorry about what happen with her at the beginning of the year.
This is taking up much more space then I originally thought. The scary thing is normally writing takes out the angry, but I feel like I could write a BOOK still. Crap.
There's much more I could write about that specifically, but I'll do it another time. Now for other updates, possible slightly relating to that. Well, most definitely, because they practically changed my whole life. Wow.
Something I kind of find funny now is that they don't really hang out with each other anymore. One of them is a druggie, and she's just trying to impress this guy who does drugs and she's most likely going to become a whore too, for him. Someone else who knows her says her mother would kill her if she knew. This is not going to turn out well for her. Another one now just hangs out with some people who I have heard do drugs, but I don't believe she does them. While I was hanging out with her, she was getting bad grades, just because she didn't want to look like a nerd, and this is probably not helping. Another of them is hanging out with a druggie (geez, we have a lot of druggies) a bit more now, and also a cheerleader who she said she didn't like while I was hanging out with her. Hmm. The last girl, and the root of the problem still hangs out with Mar and they hang out sometimes with this guy who is a grade older and I'm fairly sure likes the 'Problem' girl. Anyway, he's not a druggie as far as I know and he's fairly nice I guess. Didn't know him very well.
Anyway, I'm gonna explain the new group I hang out with now, Abbreviating they're names:
H-The girl I hung out with on band, and the reason I'm hanging out with this group. One of my best friends at my school, which is kind of sad.
SK-H's like best friend. She's okay. We're not best of friends as far as I'm aware of, but we're in the friends’ category.
ST- She's pretty good. Nice, and gets along with a lot of people as far as I can see. I was really down after a bad class and few weeks ago, and she actually noticed and asked. I didn't tell her what was bothering me (Would have taking a while. xD). She asked once or twice more, and then it kind of died. Other people showed up then, and that cheered me up a bit. The thought that somebody cares is comforting when I'm feeling down.
O- She's nice, speaks her mind. She's said a few things that have made me think she didn't like me, but at other times, she's pretty good. She says some things that would make ME think she didn't like me to other people that are her friends, so it's good I guess. She's just very open, which I have a feeling is something I need.
K- Very quite. We're kind of still on the level of 'You hang out in the same group as me..' We're on the same bus, but don't sit together. I've been think about it for a while, but sometimes she sits with a friend (both mine and hers) and I don't want to sit with her and then have her friend want to sit there or feel rejected... Maybe I'm just worried about getting close to someone who could easily visit me, and my family would finally realize I hang out with a different crowd. They still don't know I don't like Mar and that group anymore. They point out every time we pass her house (It's along the highway). xD Oh god.
That's the basic little group I hang out with. Sometimes more, sometimes less. H, Sk, St, O and K. I think from now on when talking about them, I'll use that...
Onto something else now I guess...
Not shaking as much now. Woo.
I still think about the guy from last school year sometimes. It's said. I saw a photo on someone’s page a while ago (December?) and I definitely wasn't expecting. Stared for a moment, I must admit. When I'm driving around or something, I look around, just in case I see him. He may not live here anymore, but he still visits friends and crud. He doesn't live that far. And although I said earlier he had broken up with his girlfriend from here, I think he didn't. Another guy asked me out (kinda) last year (although he moved away) and I think about him sometimes now, not in the same way really. There was a little joke between the little group of friends that I wouldn't go out with him because he had too much 'ego' (Not really though). That wasn't really the reason, but I can't imagine how it must have felt.
I've never asked somebody out because I'm petrified of rejection (and all the guys I like are way outta my league, as people say, and could have like any girl practically. And they have girlfriends normally. :P). He was actually alright, but I'm picky I guess, and I had the hugest crush on the other guy. Obviously, I wasn't going to tell this guy that. And with my 'low self-esteem' (That term also reminds me of a therapist) I probably didn't want to go out with him because he wasn't what others thought of as hot or whatever. The other guy wasn't exactly hot, if you think about it, but something about him was appealing in a way.
The funny thing is I will most likely never see either of them again. The guy who asked me out lives in a different country now I think. Joyous. A sill part of my wonders if he actually liked me sometimes. Or if he was just asking me out for the heck of it. And it also wonders if he's forgotten about me now. I suppose most people who give it any thought wonder if people they used to know remember them. Guess it's the fear of being forgotten.
Some now I'm going onto some more recent crushes. Woo-hoo. Teen drama-rama. The guy I really liked before, who was a druggie, now hangs out with one of the girls I used to, the one who became a druggie. Not crazy over him anymore, though I still think he's hot, but it's nowhere near a crush.
There was another guy I mentioned before who was 'emo' ish. He was going out with one of the girls I hung out with at the beginning of last year. He's still hot and it's almost a crush, but nothing really big.
There's also a new addition to the crew. There was a guy that sat beside me in English last semester. Not what people call hot, like 'Brad Pitt' (If that's your type of hot), but still the date-able type like the guy from last year. He was funny and I couldn't help smiling around him. I didn't say much, but I talked to him more than I would talk to someone how normally sits beside me. He probably thought I didn't like him because I didn't talk much, but it was the opposite. He probably thought I was crazy for smiling too much. I heard from someone that some people think he's rude, but before I heard that, I thought he was just a really nice guy. He was probably just nice because I was nice to him. Treat other like you would like to be treated kind of stuff. A little part wants me to think it's more but whatever. :P He passed right by me, practically walking beside me for a moment and didn't say anything thing a week or so ago. It could be because we don't have any classes together anymore but whatever.
He has a girlfriend too, so yeah. She's pretty nice, and just plain pretty. She was in my class last year too. Sometimes I think they've broken up because she's a 'huggy' person and hugs her guy friends as well, so I think that maybe she's broken up with him, but she never has. And from what he said to me about her, they really liked each other. I'm happy for him.
There's been some passing fancies like "Oh he's hot' or what ever, but nothing real serious. I'm not very concentrated on anyone right now. It's probably good.
Now onto the medical part of this entry. Woo-hoo.
Some time last year, I went to the doctor to get a mole checked out (Melanoma and crap like that). The doctor didn't think it was a major problem, but recommended me to a dermatologist. On the first Thursday of March, I went to the city (God, I sound like the Extreme county folk around here. They get excited about going to the city. It's a big thing.) to see the dermatologist he recommended. He said that I was at more of a risk of getting Melanoma because I have a few large atypical moles. The one on my back in the biggest, and he recommended getting it removed. So in a few months, I'll probably have to get plastic surgery to get it removed. Joy. The funny thing is, I consider dermatology more important than plastic surgery, but I had to go to the city to get my mole checked out but I only have to go to my local hospital to get plastic surgery. Shows you what's odd with our society. Anyway, I'm not 100% sure, if it's getting removed, but whatever. It would be kind of nice, because even though I don't show my back, like ever, the mole is kind of huge.
Something that I found funny was that when he was explaining the melanoma and mole type thing, it sounded exactly like what I had looked up even before I went to the doctor the first time. There was also a hot guy in the waiting room of the dermatologists’ offices. He was there for pimples, but they were okay on him. I'm very pale and my pimples are very red, so they sick out like sore thumbs, but his weren't that bad. Anyway, oddity ness.
I went to the dentist earlier this week as well. No cavities, and nice teeth. Another problem that I need to explain fully first for it to make any sense. My jaw joint cracks a lot, and very loudly. Normally people complain about this because it's painful, but mine never hurts. My mom mentioned it because she hates the noise. I think it's nifty, but whatever. The dentist said there's a 50/50 chance it will cause later problems. It doesn't both me in the least bit so I thought we would just leave it. He wants to get x-rays though and look into it more before they decide what to do. The thing he suggested to do was to get braces, which I am NEVER getting if I have a say. I already look ugly, and they won't help.
Anyway, the braces are supposed to bring the jaw forward a bit, and that's supposed to stop the cracking. When they tested my jaw with it forward to see if it would crack, it didn't. When my jaw does crack there's this 'tension' (It's not pain, it makes it just makes it uncomfortable if I DON'T crack it. Like your ears popping) before that makes me want to crack it. Although it didn't crack, the tension was there, and if my jaw were like that, it would start cracking again. I'm sure. At this moment though, my jaw isn't cracking at all so I don't know...
Anyway, I think I'm done for right now. I still have plenty to right so I think I'm going to keep doing this for a while.
I think I'm going to change my layout some time soon as well. Chowies.
So here's what happened, starting as far back as I think I should go:
Last year when I moved here, I hung out with an old friend from before I move and her new friends. They were good, nice and just people I had always thought where cool. Let's just say I didn't really fit in. They were nice and didn't dis me or anything, but we didn't become immediate BBFL's, ya know?
So then, I began hanging out with Mar and Kody. They were good. We did kind of have the best friends’ quality. Mar had a whole bunch of friend on the other lunch that I didn't know, but we formed a little group on our lunch. So, new school year, new school and every body is on the same lunch. (God, I'm already starting to shake over this. It's silly) They didn't like Kody and made it obvious. She hung out with another group then, but Mar and me were still friends with her, but we hung out with Mar's old friends. They were very out going, and definitely not the type of people I would hang out with. I tried to act a bit different (stupid, yes) so they would like me and I would fit in better, because at that point, Mar was my 'best' friend here.
So I think it was in November, I noticed they seemed to be avoiding me a bit, not obviously, but I noticed. At first, I told myself it was stupid. They had been nice and they could be very blunt about people they didn't like. I kind of backed off a bit. I didn't tell Mar and she obviously didn't know. Maybe she did know, but I think she still wanted to be my friend. We hung out with some different people for a day or two (It wasn't really discussed, but just happened. Mar was trying to get two of her friends to go out), I didn't particularly like then, but they were okay. A little while later, one lunch, on a Wednesday conveniently enough, (D:<) they gave me a little note say that I was a good person (coughbullcough) but they didn't want me to hang out with them anymore. I seriously almost cried in front of some people. Luckily, some of Mar's friends (not the people ditching me, the people she was trying to hook up) weren't part of it and had no idea about what was happening, so we walked elsewhere.
I was freezing cold and shaking for the last period (The 'ring leader' was in this class. Lucky me.) and I think a bit after that. (I'm shaking again typing this. And the same kind of cold feeling. It's terrible.)
So I was a few month in school, with no friends. So for two or three days, I hung out with Kody (THANKYOUSOFREAKINGMUCH) until her and her friend had a Christian group thing, which I defiantly didn't want to join. (I am baptized, but I don't really believe.) I hung out with people from band that I knew form a day or two.
Last year on a band trip, me and another girl spent the whole time together. We hadn't talked much since, hellos and crud, and we always sat together in the one class we had together. That class (music) had brought us a bit closer than we had been since the band trip. So after I hung out with the other group from band, I began to hang out with her and her friends. Lot's of group hopping, no? Which was really scary for me, because I hate rejection (and Mar's group had killed my sense of trust. :-) (GEETHANKS)) And I'm not an outgoing person, so I normally stick to a group of people that I know. It was hard for me. I was really quiet for a while. It probably didn't help them getting to like me. Still hanging out with them for the most part.
Sometimes that goddamn voice comes back in my head and screams, "They hate you, leave them alone." And kills my progress for a little while.
Using 'progress' makes me think I'm talking to a therapist. This could have helped but anyway...
Anyway, I still have moments where I don't trust them, and I think they hate me. It really sucks, so my rollercoaster just got curvier. For the most part, it's kind of better, and if I ever get into a fight (I don't fight with friend though so whatever), or just can't hang out with them, I have some other people I know I can hang out with, which is good.
What's also really silly, is that I kept the note they gave me. The people that dissed me. It's under my drawers. I have no idea why, but I did. Maybe to keep part of me from getting to smug, and maybe I thought someone might see it if I throw it out. It kind of seems like something I failed at, which is really silly, but I guess I'm just prideful. People see me as like the smart kid that never fails, and it just transfers into my life so that sucks.
Something else that sucks, the fact that the people that dissed me, including Mar are in almost every on of my classes, this term and last. And the people I hang out with are in French immersion so they're not in any of my classes. Joy. Can't wait 'til we get our classes that we picked next year.
Still shaking. Goddamn.
The thing I found funny once, was that Kody (I think it was her, possible one of the friends she was setting up) told me that Mar was sorry and still wanted to be friends or something like that. PAH! Completely SCREWED ME UP for a while there. She's talked to me once of twice, just like hello's, etc, but I try to avoid/ignore her mostly. If she wanted to still be my friend, she could have at least not agreed with them. (The dis'ers signed the note, to show they agreed or whatever, she could have at least not.) It would have been nice for here to stick up for me, she didn't have to leave her friend to hang out with me but geez, they had each other and I had no one that I was 'close' to at that moment. I probably seem really cold to them now, I know this, I'm still pissed and try to avoid them, but to most people I don't know, I'm very shy. Sometimes I think it's probably rude, but sometimes I think I have a 'right' in a sense to be.
Wow, this is the first time I've really spilled this out. Kody asked me why I was hanging out with her more, if Mar and I had gotten into a fight, but I said I had problems with the rest of them. 'Nough said for her. She might have got the idea I didn't want to talk about it (It was like the day after). She had obviously had that problem, now that I realize it. I'm really sorry about what happen with her at the beginning of the year.
This is taking up much more space then I originally thought. The scary thing is normally writing takes out the angry, but I feel like I could write a BOOK still. Crap.
There's much more I could write about that specifically, but I'll do it another time. Now for other updates, possible slightly relating to that. Well, most definitely, because they practically changed my whole life. Wow.
Something I kind of find funny now is that they don't really hang out with each other anymore. One of them is a druggie, and she's just trying to impress this guy who does drugs and she's most likely going to become a whore too, for him. Someone else who knows her says her mother would kill her if she knew. This is not going to turn out well for her. Another one now just hangs out with some people who I have heard do drugs, but I don't believe she does them. While I was hanging out with her, she was getting bad grades, just because she didn't want to look like a nerd, and this is probably not helping. Another of them is hanging out with a druggie (geez, we have a lot of druggies) a bit more now, and also a cheerleader who she said she didn't like while I was hanging out with her. Hmm. The last girl, and the root of the problem still hangs out with Mar and they hang out sometimes with this guy who is a grade older and I'm fairly sure likes the 'Problem' girl. Anyway, he's not a druggie as far as I know and he's fairly nice I guess. Didn't know him very well.
Anyway, I'm gonna explain the new group I hang out with now, Abbreviating they're names:
H-The girl I hung out with on band, and the reason I'm hanging out with this group. One of my best friends at my school, which is kind of sad.
SK-H's like best friend. She's okay. We're not best of friends as far as I'm aware of, but we're in the friends’ category.
ST- She's pretty good. Nice, and gets along with a lot of people as far as I can see. I was really down after a bad class and few weeks ago, and she actually noticed and asked. I didn't tell her what was bothering me (Would have taking a while. xD). She asked once or twice more, and then it kind of died. Other people showed up then, and that cheered me up a bit. The thought that somebody cares is comforting when I'm feeling down.
O- She's nice, speaks her mind. She's said a few things that have made me think she didn't like me, but at other times, she's pretty good. She says some things that would make ME think she didn't like me to other people that are her friends, so it's good I guess. She's just very open, which I have a feeling is something I need.
K- Very quite. We're kind of still on the level of 'You hang out in the same group as me..' We're on the same bus, but don't sit together. I've been think about it for a while, but sometimes she sits with a friend (both mine and hers) and I don't want to sit with her and then have her friend want to sit there or feel rejected... Maybe I'm just worried about getting close to someone who could easily visit me, and my family would finally realize I hang out with a different crowd. They still don't know I don't like Mar and that group anymore. They point out every time we pass her house (It's along the highway). xD Oh god.
That's the basic little group I hang out with. Sometimes more, sometimes less. H, Sk, St, O and K. I think from now on when talking about them, I'll use that...
Onto something else now I guess...
Not shaking as much now. Woo.
I still think about the guy from last school year sometimes. It's said. I saw a photo on someone’s page a while ago (December?) and I definitely wasn't expecting. Stared for a moment, I must admit. When I'm driving around or something, I look around, just in case I see him. He may not live here anymore, but he still visits friends and crud. He doesn't live that far. And although I said earlier he had broken up with his girlfriend from here, I think he didn't. Another guy asked me out (kinda) last year (although he moved away) and I think about him sometimes now, not in the same way really. There was a little joke between the little group of friends that I wouldn't go out with him because he had too much 'ego' (Not really though). That wasn't really the reason, but I can't imagine how it must have felt.
I've never asked somebody out because I'm petrified of rejection (and all the guys I like are way outta my league, as people say, and could have like any girl practically. And they have girlfriends normally. :P). He was actually alright, but I'm picky I guess, and I had the hugest crush on the other guy. Obviously, I wasn't going to tell this guy that. And with my 'low self-esteem' (That term also reminds me of a therapist) I probably didn't want to go out with him because he wasn't what others thought of as hot or whatever. The other guy wasn't exactly hot, if you think about it, but something about him was appealing in a way.
The funny thing is I will most likely never see either of them again. The guy who asked me out lives in a different country now I think. Joyous. A sill part of my wonders if he actually liked me sometimes. Or if he was just asking me out for the heck of it. And it also wonders if he's forgotten about me now. I suppose most people who give it any thought wonder if people they used to know remember them. Guess it's the fear of being forgotten.
Some now I'm going onto some more recent crushes. Woo-hoo. Teen drama-rama. The guy I really liked before, who was a druggie, now hangs out with one of the girls I used to, the one who became a druggie. Not crazy over him anymore, though I still think he's hot, but it's nowhere near a crush.
There was another guy I mentioned before who was 'emo' ish. He was going out with one of the girls I hung out with at the beginning of last year. He's still hot and it's almost a crush, but nothing really big.
There's also a new addition to the crew. There was a guy that sat beside me in English last semester. Not what people call hot, like 'Brad Pitt' (If that's your type of hot), but still the date-able type like the guy from last year. He was funny and I couldn't help smiling around him. I didn't say much, but I talked to him more than I would talk to someone how normally sits beside me. He probably thought I didn't like him because I didn't talk much, but it was the opposite. He probably thought I was crazy for smiling too much. I heard from someone that some people think he's rude, but before I heard that, I thought he was just a really nice guy. He was probably just nice because I was nice to him. Treat other like you would like to be treated kind of stuff. A little part wants me to think it's more but whatever. :P He passed right by me, practically walking beside me for a moment and didn't say anything thing a week or so ago. It could be because we don't have any classes together anymore but whatever.
He has a girlfriend too, so yeah. She's pretty nice, and just plain pretty. She was in my class last year too. Sometimes I think they've broken up because she's a 'huggy' person and hugs her guy friends as well, so I think that maybe she's broken up with him, but she never has. And from what he said to me about her, they really liked each other. I'm happy for him.
There's been some passing fancies like "Oh he's hot' or what ever, but nothing real serious. I'm not very concentrated on anyone right now. It's probably good.
Now onto the medical part of this entry. Woo-hoo.
Some time last year, I went to the doctor to get a mole checked out (Melanoma and crap like that). The doctor didn't think it was a major problem, but recommended me to a dermatologist. On the first Thursday of March, I went to the city (God, I sound like the Extreme county folk around here. They get excited about going to the city. It's a big thing.) to see the dermatologist he recommended. He said that I was at more of a risk of getting Melanoma because I have a few large atypical moles. The one on my back in the biggest, and he recommended getting it removed. So in a few months, I'll probably have to get plastic surgery to get it removed. Joy. The funny thing is, I consider dermatology more important than plastic surgery, but I had to go to the city to get my mole checked out but I only have to go to my local hospital to get plastic surgery. Shows you what's odd with our society. Anyway, I'm not 100% sure, if it's getting removed, but whatever. It would be kind of nice, because even though I don't show my back, like ever, the mole is kind of huge.
Something that I found funny was that when he was explaining the melanoma and mole type thing, it sounded exactly like what I had looked up even before I went to the doctor the first time. There was also a hot guy in the waiting room of the dermatologists’ offices. He was there for pimples, but they were okay on him. I'm very pale and my pimples are very red, so they sick out like sore thumbs, but his weren't that bad. Anyway, oddity ness.
I went to the dentist earlier this week as well. No cavities, and nice teeth. Another problem that I need to explain fully first for it to make any sense. My jaw joint cracks a lot, and very loudly. Normally people complain about this because it's painful, but mine never hurts. My mom mentioned it because she hates the noise. I think it's nifty, but whatever. The dentist said there's a 50/50 chance it will cause later problems. It doesn't both me in the least bit so I thought we would just leave it. He wants to get x-rays though and look into it more before they decide what to do. The thing he suggested to do was to get braces, which I am NEVER getting if I have a say. I already look ugly, and they won't help.
Anyway, the braces are supposed to bring the jaw forward a bit, and that's supposed to stop the cracking. When they tested my jaw with it forward to see if it would crack, it didn't. When my jaw does crack there's this 'tension' (It's not pain, it makes it just makes it uncomfortable if I DON'T crack it. Like your ears popping) before that makes me want to crack it. Although it didn't crack, the tension was there, and if my jaw were like that, it would start cracking again. I'm sure. At this moment though, my jaw isn't cracking at all so I don't know...
Anyway, I think I'm done for right now. I still have plenty to right so I think I'm going to keep doing this for a while.
I think I'm going to change my layout some time soon as well. Chowies.