Maddening Moodening
Mondays are swiftly becoming my favorite weekday, largely because I consistently have a complete lack of evening obligations on this day. Maybe this is a sign that I should stop planning such exhausting weekends? Bah. ;)
Mood swings have been off the damned charts recently, but something always comes along and kicks me back into the Land of Good, just when my brain starts veering too far into whiny and emo.
Iron Man 2 was an amusing bit of cinematic frolic. Predictably, it didn't measure up to the first, because A) the first movie raised the bar so high, and B) Hollywood loves to "improve" its films in exactly the wrong ways. But, it was pretty and fun, and at least worth seeing once.
There was also Veronica Mars, a belated birthday gathering, karaoke, an exciting meeting with a new design client, metric tons of sushi, and my first taste of Avatar: The Last Airbender. All very good things, but it's all so jumbled together in my head that I'm too tired today to sort it all out into discrete thoughts.
Time and perception are curious things. Friday night seems like it was weeks ago. W00tstock already seems like it happened a lifetime ago. And yet, when I reflect on events of significance that still seem fairly recent, I realize that they came to pass... one, five, even ten YEARS ago?
When I track the progression of my moods and feelings, and wonder why I haven't recovered from Thing A or gotten over Thing B, I have to remind myself: it hasn't actually been all that long. Or, even if it has been quite a while, it may not have been that long since I truly began to process it. The fact that I haven't completely healed from various hurts, both new and old, is not wrong. It's maddening and frustrating, but it's also justified.
I want to be well-oriented and clear-headed, I want forward movement. Bravery is something I aspire to. Calculated risk is something I hope to stare in the face without blinking. But there is also a time to hide in your shell, to stand still, to retreat and recover before charging back into the fray. I, unfortunately, have a need and a craving for both.
So, instead of kicking down the door to the dungeon, I nudge it open with a very long stick. And then, with equal parts excitement and trepidation, I peer through the opening to see what might come through.
Hopefully, I'll find something of value behind the next door, and not just another surprise kick to the face.
Mood swings have been off the damned charts recently, but something always comes along and kicks me back into the Land of Good, just when my brain starts veering too far into whiny and emo.
Iron Man 2 was an amusing bit of cinematic frolic. Predictably, it didn't measure up to the first, because A) the first movie raised the bar so high, and B) Hollywood loves to "improve" its films in exactly the wrong ways. But, it was pretty and fun, and at least worth seeing once.
There was also Veronica Mars, a belated birthday gathering, karaoke, an exciting meeting with a new design client, metric tons of sushi, and my first taste of Avatar: The Last Airbender. All very good things, but it's all so jumbled together in my head that I'm too tired today to sort it all out into discrete thoughts.
Time and perception are curious things. Friday night seems like it was weeks ago. W00tstock already seems like it happened a lifetime ago. And yet, when I reflect on events of significance that still seem fairly recent, I realize that they came to pass... one, five, even ten YEARS ago?
When I track the progression of my moods and feelings, and wonder why I haven't recovered from Thing A or gotten over Thing B, I have to remind myself: it hasn't actually been all that long. Or, even if it has been quite a while, it may not have been that long since I truly began to process it. The fact that I haven't completely healed from various hurts, both new and old, is not wrong. It's maddening and frustrating, but it's also justified.
I want to be well-oriented and clear-headed, I want forward movement. Bravery is something I aspire to. Calculated risk is something I hope to stare in the face without blinking. But there is also a time to hide in your shell, to stand still, to retreat and recover before charging back into the fray. I, unfortunately, have a need and a craving for both.
So, instead of kicking down the door to the dungeon, I nudge it open with a very long stick. And then, with equal parts excitement and trepidation, I peer through the opening to see what might come through.
Hopefully, I'll find something of value behind the next door, and not just another surprise kick to the face.