(no subject)
Christmas...it's the most wonderful time of the year
(unless you have to do schoolwork and worry about relationshits)
Good lord,
I find I am having trouble seriously enjoying the holidays because of an extreme lack of knowing where to fit in to the scheme of things. I have a few different ways I can go right now; however, they all consist of one or more of the following: Parents' disapproval, Personal dislike, or Negative effects on my relationships/close friends (or lack thereof). I just feel lost right now. I think I sort of jumped out at life, (more High School than anything else), and it hasn't yet responded; and as a result left me hanging out wondering where the edge of the cliff went. Everything is so over my head right now, and I know this is the time that I have to climb back on top, while I have no schoolwork to slave over...but I find myself too contemplative to actually help myself. I find myself in doubt of my choices up to now, and holding myself in contempt when deciding about how to play my cards from here on out. I guess what I'm saying is: I am undecided as to whether to scratch my persona thus far and start over fresh, or try to keep plowin' through the heavy stuff and see if I find a clear path.
I will say though, the Christmas spirit HAS gotten ahold of me, and I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year...
(p.s. thanks to kevin, with age comes wisdom.)
(unless you have to do schoolwork and worry about relationshits)
Good lord,
I find I am having trouble seriously enjoying the holidays because of an extreme lack of knowing where to fit in to the scheme of things. I have a few different ways I can go right now; however, they all consist of one or more of the following: Parents' disapproval, Personal dislike, or Negative effects on my relationships/close friends (or lack thereof). I just feel lost right now. I think I sort of jumped out at life, (more High School than anything else), and it hasn't yet responded; and as a result left me hanging out wondering where the edge of the cliff went. Everything is so over my head right now, and I know this is the time that I have to climb back on top, while I have no schoolwork to slave over...but I find myself too contemplative to actually help myself. I find myself in doubt of my choices up to now, and holding myself in contempt when deciding about how to play my cards from here on out. I guess what I'm saying is: I am undecided as to whether to scratch my persona thus far and start over fresh, or try to keep plowin' through the heavy stuff and see if I find a clear path.
I will say though, the Christmas spirit HAS gotten ahold of me, and I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year...
(p.s. thanks to kevin, with age comes wisdom.)