doubts.

Nov 06, 2008 08:25

Today i woke up with this overwhelming feeling of doubt. Doubt about God and is all this really worth anything. I've been trying to really super charge my relationship with Christ and get to know Him more and more. Trying to study more of His word and make Him my true focus. I've felt lead in many different ways but this morning i just have this doubt. I decided to start my morning off with a little quite time, normally i do this later in my day since i'm not really a morning person. I read today's message in My Utmost For His Highest. The verse for today was from the Gospel of John and it was the end part of verse 11:26 "Do you believe this?" Good question for today. "What is your ordeal of doubt?" chambers goes on to say. i would have to say my ordeal of doubt is selfishness. I just want what i want, when i want it, and i wanna do what i want whenever i want to! He also goes on to say "To believe is to commit." I believe so therefore i commited myself to Christ. To love to also to commit and i love Christ because Christ first loved me and i've commited to love Him. Now that i think about it this may be simular to what it will be like one day when i'm married. Love isn't a feelings it's a commitment to a person. I may wake up one morning and really not feel like loving my husband (although i hope that'll never happen!) but i hear it can be hard to love them sometimes. I need to trust in the Lord. Remember those times when He's felt so close so in times such as these where i want to leave The Cross behind me i won't. I pray that God will lift my doubts away.
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