Graduation
26th of July finally came and went passing by like any other day, funny enough. After the 6th I anticipated the event, graduation ceremony, hat wearings, suits, ugly shoes etc. But it all was just, just an ordinary affair of things. So to me it was another day in life, in a long cyclic continuum of life. Disappointment was slight, as a few friends actually came to my party (in reality, I'd invited circa 35 people, only 9 showed up). But it was nothing, and later that night - as usual - we were supposed to gather at some place (namely Vaakahuone at nine) to spend some time together before the lot of us disbanded - some to stay in Finland to study, some go to the army, some move abroad for studies - but we, as a class, are a disgrace and a failure. I recognize this only now, even though I tried my best to keep us as a cohesive unit, as a family. But people like to socialize in smaller groups I guess, in clicks as they say. So the 3C graduating class of 2008 scattered around the city of Turku, some acting like total drunkards with the exception of wearing suits and nice evening gowns and the traditional Finnish white hats. It got to me a bit, but atleast I got to spend another night with my friends, whom don't even usually call me!
But I'm not blaming anyone, you've got your own lives, and I've got mine. And I've come to a conclusion. I have become a loner, a hermit if you will. I've isolated myself into my high apartment, no phones, no means of communication except the power of MSN Messenger. And not many people hang out in Messenger anymore, so I'm left to wander the streets alone. Oh woe is me.
Less of complaining, so now I share the story of my day on the 26th. In the morning I wake up at approximately 5 o'clock, can't get any sleep cos I went to bed at 3 or something. I do something till 7 and bike to Omar to ask bout the ride to the Academy house. I had to bike there since I've no credit on my phone. Then back home, an omelette for breakfast and looky - a half finished bottle of wine. Since I'm not a person to leave things unfinished (I rather not to start things at all!), I begin chugging it. I tune my guitar to an E flat, the higher E string breaks, I curse and head off to Omar's mom's place in a hurry with my backpack full of stuff.
At the place I tell Peetu of my worries and he lends me his car, and I completely forgot I'd already drunken atleast two glasses of wine but to hell with it! So I went and got a new set of strings and Omar also wanted something from Alko. Sounds good, right? I head back, park the car, smoke one, go in and drink some more. Tune guitars because Antti wanted to tune to a standard E, he'd messed with my guitar (oh yeah, in case you're wondering, I bought an acoustic guitar. I spent like 270€ on that. 199€ guitar, ~50€ for the strap and gig bag, another 10€ for the strings and I think another 10€ for the Schaller straplocks which I didn't even need...) so I had to tune it back to E flat.
So far so good, not even drunk, not even shaking from the suspension or anything. Just going with the flow as always, mellowed out like a banana smoothie and calm like a stone in the bottom of the ocean. Then there's Anus and his lackey, Susanna. They're taking charge, apparently. Antti yells out commands like he's the captain of a battalion of badly behaving children. We stand in line, I'm sweating like a small rodent and we walk down the aisle to the podium, go through all the walkings and stuff and the song and all. We go through everything else cept the speeches and the song me and Antti (S.) are supposed to play in a while. Now, normally that would be okay, cos we're that good. But the problem was, Antti only learned to play it the same morning and I'd been unsure whether I could sing and play it at the same time, also the pitch of the vocals gave me problems. Hell, we were supposed to sing the chorus as a choir, but that failed miserably in the end. The night before I started having real doubts bout playing the song, because lots of people told me the song sucked but then there were people who for example didn't want me to do Story of my life or Swing life away, so instead we just stuck to Green Day's Good riddance (time of your life). It's really not a singalong song, so yeah, just imagine. I think my dad's got it on camera while I'm playing the song.
Aaaaaaaanyway, we pathetically try to rehearse it backstage (or rather "backstage"), but most of the people didn't care enough, so I set myself with the attitude of 'fuck it all'. It was quite sad anyway, the opening music, Heljä playing something classical. Ooh, aah. No. I mean, I'm not denying that Heljä's not a good violinist, it's just that she is tonedeaf. And I mean it. Or it didn't just bother or embarrass her at all, since her violin was horribly out of tune. I think it was even more out of tune than Omar's guitar in our legendary rendition of Ramones' California sun. But in the end, the ceremony was nice, Raimo even burst into song and it somehow reminded all of us how absurd our three years of IB had been. That moment in time when Raimo burst into song, it was like out of a scene of a musical - the crowd didn't stand up to sing backup vocals or to dance, but ignoring that fact, it could've been. Raimo's speech was accurate and funny, he totally was fucking with us. Telling us this group was... well, different. Ha!
Surprisingly Kirsi's speech was great, and don't get me wrong, I'm not saying she's not a great speaker, but in the past years I've only gotten to see her overtly serious and her happyjoyjoy sides, not her emotional serious side, y'know. And she put all those beautiful little things she'd taught us: metaphors, similes, allusions.. God knows what. We loved it. It got a bit sorrowful and tearful for Kirsi when she talked bout Jesse, Antti and Emmi. And I completely understand her now, I never got her before, but that just hit me like an anvil on the head.
The other two speeches, Kleemola's and Anus' joint speech with Sanna. Weeeell, how could I say this in a nice way so that I don't get anyone after me again. My personal opinion is very much against their speeches. They were really.. dry, impersonal and maybe a tad too stiff. Antti's never been a great speaker, not to me anyway. But hey, it's just me, I'm always the rebel, liking everything no one else likes and vice versa.
After all that hohumhey dum la dee day, it was time to stand still on the podiums and take pictures, of us, the graduates. Then came the roses and hugs and handshakes from relatives, close friends etc. I got a rose from Suski's mom, which was odd. Am I that kind of a person who leaves an impression on other people? Do I deserve a rose for 12 years of no labor? Dear god I know other people put a lot more effor into the finals than me. And of all the people there, Suski's mom. Hell, even her dad came to shake my hand. People, wake up! We went out for a few months and broke up bitterly. Weird.
So later that day, I had my party, people showed up, shook hands, drank sparkling wine, beer and whisky. Headed back to Turku, hassle and running about, came home late. Essi stayed the night at my place, cos, ahem, it was a last resort. No pun intended. After that, nothing. I just feel like what the fuck am I supposed to do now? I know I need to write my CV and apply for jobs, but then what? What if I get a place in a university somewhere? Ugh.
And yeah, almost forgot, another absurd situation happened just a few hours ago. I went out to take out the trash, because it stunk up the whole place: turns out my trashbag had holes, and there was some eggs in the bottom of it.. Anyway, I went down and took out the trash, then at the trashcans there's this lady on a bike calling out my name and congratulating me: she was Laura's grandma. I think I might have come off as a rude jerk, because I was in a hurry back to my cave since I had my TV, PC, DVD player and everything on. So she talked and I talked and we talked: about the grad ceremony, Laura not having the Saturday night off, and her party on Sunday and something else. Don't know really, I was concentrating on thinking of the absurdness of the situation since Laura broke up with me more than a year ago, and I only recently got over her, and then there's her grandma. Don't people really understand how awkward these things are for me?!
I had something else important to write about, but I forgot. I forget lots of things. But as I earlier today blurted out: you just can't remember everything.
edit. REMEMBERED IT! It was to do with the trash I was taking out: it still stinks, I mean the smell just grabbed onto my keyboard and mouse and desktop and everything. Holy shit it smells bad, really bad eggs indeed...
PS I'll up some pictures of the ceremony once I get a hold of my sis and parents for their cameras. I finally up some pics, so I'm not a boring person, yay!
But I'm not blaming anyone, you've got your own lives, and I've got mine. And I've come to a conclusion. I have become a loner, a hermit if you will. I've isolated myself into my high apartment, no phones, no means of communication except the power of MSN Messenger. And not many people hang out in Messenger anymore, so I'm left to wander the streets alone. Oh woe is me.
Less of complaining, so now I share the story of my day on the 26th. In the morning I wake up at approximately 5 o'clock, can't get any sleep cos I went to bed at 3 or something. I do something till 7 and bike to Omar to ask bout the ride to the Academy house. I had to bike there since I've no credit on my phone. Then back home, an omelette for breakfast and looky - a half finished bottle of wine. Since I'm not a person to leave things unfinished (I rather not to start things at all!), I begin chugging it. I tune my guitar to an E flat, the higher E string breaks, I curse and head off to Omar's mom's place in a hurry with my backpack full of stuff.
At the place I tell Peetu of my worries and he lends me his car, and I completely forgot I'd already drunken atleast two glasses of wine but to hell with it! So I went and got a new set of strings and Omar also wanted something from Alko. Sounds good, right? I head back, park the car, smoke one, go in and drink some more. Tune guitars because Antti wanted to tune to a standard E, he'd messed with my guitar (oh yeah, in case you're wondering, I bought an acoustic guitar. I spent like 270€ on that. 199€ guitar, ~50€ for the strap and gig bag, another 10€ for the strings and I think another 10€ for the Schaller straplocks which I didn't even need...) so I had to tune it back to E flat.
So far so good, not even drunk, not even shaking from the suspension or anything. Just going with the flow as always, mellowed out like a banana smoothie and calm like a stone in the bottom of the ocean. Then there's Anus and his lackey, Susanna. They're taking charge, apparently. Antti yells out commands like he's the captain of a battalion of badly behaving children. We stand in line, I'm sweating like a small rodent and we walk down the aisle to the podium, go through all the walkings and stuff and the song and all. We go through everything else cept the speeches and the song me and Antti (S.) are supposed to play in a while. Now, normally that would be okay, cos we're that good. But the problem was, Antti only learned to play it the same morning and I'd been unsure whether I could sing and play it at the same time, also the pitch of the vocals gave me problems. Hell, we were supposed to sing the chorus as a choir, but that failed miserably in the end. The night before I started having real doubts bout playing the song, because lots of people told me the song sucked but then there were people who for example didn't want me to do Story of my life or Swing life away, so instead we just stuck to Green Day's Good riddance (time of your life). It's really not a singalong song, so yeah, just imagine. I think my dad's got it on camera while I'm playing the song.
Aaaaaaaanyway, we pathetically try to rehearse it backstage (or rather "backstage"), but most of the people didn't care enough, so I set myself with the attitude of 'fuck it all'. It was quite sad anyway, the opening music, Heljä playing something classical. Ooh, aah. No. I mean, I'm not denying that Heljä's not a good violinist, it's just that she is tonedeaf. And I mean it. Or it didn't just bother or embarrass her at all, since her violin was horribly out of tune. I think it was even more out of tune than Omar's guitar in our legendary rendition of Ramones' California sun. But in the end, the ceremony was nice, Raimo even burst into song and it somehow reminded all of us how absurd our three years of IB had been. That moment in time when Raimo burst into song, it was like out of a scene of a musical - the crowd didn't stand up to sing backup vocals or to dance, but ignoring that fact, it could've been. Raimo's speech was accurate and funny, he totally was fucking with us. Telling us this group was... well, different. Ha!
Surprisingly Kirsi's speech was great, and don't get me wrong, I'm not saying she's not a great speaker, but in the past years I've only gotten to see her overtly serious and her happyjoyjoy sides, not her emotional serious side, y'know. And she put all those beautiful little things she'd taught us: metaphors, similes, allusions.. God knows what. We loved it. It got a bit sorrowful and tearful for Kirsi when she talked bout Jesse, Antti and Emmi. And I completely understand her now, I never got her before, but that just hit me like an anvil on the head.
The other two speeches, Kleemola's and Anus' joint speech with Sanna. Weeeell, how could I say this in a nice way so that I don't get anyone after me again. My personal opinion is very much against their speeches. They were really.. dry, impersonal and maybe a tad too stiff. Antti's never been a great speaker, not to me anyway. But hey, it's just me, I'm always the rebel, liking everything no one else likes and vice versa.
After all that hohumhey dum la dee day, it was time to stand still on the podiums and take pictures, of us, the graduates. Then came the roses and hugs and handshakes from relatives, close friends etc. I got a rose from Suski's mom, which was odd. Am I that kind of a person who leaves an impression on other people? Do I deserve a rose for 12 years of no labor? Dear god I know other people put a lot more effor into the finals than me. And of all the people there, Suski's mom. Hell, even her dad came to shake my hand. People, wake up! We went out for a few months and broke up bitterly. Weird.
So later that day, I had my party, people showed up, shook hands, drank sparkling wine, beer and whisky. Headed back to Turku, hassle and running about, came home late. Essi stayed the night at my place, cos, ahem, it was a last resort. No pun intended. After that, nothing. I just feel like what the fuck am I supposed to do now? I know I need to write my CV and apply for jobs, but then what? What if I get a place in a university somewhere? Ugh.
And yeah, almost forgot, another absurd situation happened just a few hours ago. I went out to take out the trash, because it stunk up the whole place: turns out my trashbag had holes, and there was some eggs in the bottom of it.. Anyway, I went down and took out the trash, then at the trashcans there's this lady on a bike calling out my name and congratulating me: she was Laura's grandma. I think I might have come off as a rude jerk, because I was in a hurry back to my cave since I had my TV, PC, DVD player and everything on. So she talked and I talked and we talked: about the grad ceremony, Laura not having the Saturday night off, and her party on Sunday and something else. Don't know really, I was concentrating on thinking of the absurdness of the situation since Laura broke up with me more than a year ago, and I only recently got over her, and then there's her grandma. Don't people really understand how awkward these things are for me?!
I had something else important to write about, but I forgot. I forget lots of things. But as I earlier today blurted out: you just can't remember everything.
edit. REMEMBERED IT! It was to do with the trash I was taking out: it still stinks, I mean the smell just grabbed onto my keyboard and mouse and desktop and everything. Holy shit it smells bad, really bad eggs indeed...
PS I'll up some pictures of the ceremony once I get a hold of my sis and parents for their cameras. I finally up some pics, so I'm not a boring person, yay!