38 weeks [reposted from Facebook]
http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-pregnancy-38-weeks_1127.bc
http://www.parentingweekly.com/newsletter/Archive/Default.aspx?NL=651&MU=1
There are all these things to think about as this pregnancy thing comes to an end.
I need to write a will because now I have someone really special and important to leave things to, not just cats or my sisters or parents (even though they're great, this little guy is above all of them). Not only that, but now I have someone who'll need to be taken care of if something happens to me.
We have to figure out the custody and child support stuff. I've been trying to bring it up and deal with it for months, but it kept getting tabled. It's now to the point where there's no more time left to do that, or for me to try to be okay with that. He'll be here any day now. I've been looking at these sites: http://texaslawhelp.org and http://www.oag.state.tx.us/cs/ and talking to people here and there about how to handle things.
There are basically three options:
1. Try to do it ourselves and hope that we never disagree and that we both are always perfectly honest and forthcoming about everything, never selfish, and that we always have our child's best interest in mind. That seems... unrealistic to me... especially based on our track-record.
2. Take our financial documents to the court and let them figure out the child support based on their formulas. Use their system to set things up so that no one has to remember to write a check to anyone else and there's documentation of everything. So that if we ever try to fight about money things, it'll all be right there where we can look at it.
Work out a visitation schedule that we can both live with and submit it to the court for approval. Preferably, this would be something that doesn't tear our child apart or drive either of us crazy. Our child should know us both and know that we will always reliably be there for him. Our child shouldn't have to move every week or be a gypsy. There are all kinds of things written about how best to work out something like that (on and offline). In general, the child stays with one parent primarily with no solo overnight stays with the other parent until he or she is 3 and then longer visits are allowed. I'm willing to work around that and have our own version with earlier overnights if it seems like all of us can handle that. What is good for the majority may not be what's best for our son. We won't know till he's here what kind of boy he'll be.
3. Get lawyers and have them do everything. That will be expensive and they'll probably drag things out into the open that we'd rather keep private. There will also be alot less freedom with them involved.
Considering the way things have gone so far, option Number 2 is probably the best we can do. The courts are set up so that it's easy to do sans lawyers. Most people can't afford counsel, and there are alot of similarities between cases like ours, so the process is streamlined. Option Number 1 has no regulation, Number 3 has total regulation, so Number 2 is the middle ground.
I found a place in town that might be able to work with us to put together a plan and help us avoid option 3: http://www.austindrc.org/
Anyway, as always, I'm hopeful that things will work out for the best... but I'm trying to be prepared for the worst.
We also still haven't found a daycare place for June. If anyone has a recommendation in the Central Austin/ UT campus area. PLEASE, let me know ASAP.
Beyond the nitty gritty stuff, I've been more uncomfortable in my skin these last few weeks than I've ever been in my entire life. Tired more. Sleeping less. Itchy. My GOD, no one could've prepared me for how much itching I'm having because this kid is stretching my skin. It's like the worst sunburn you've ever had when it starts to heal. I feel stretched tight like a drum and I look like I have a basketball in the front of my clothes. Yes, the kiddo's bigger than a soccer ball. (Over 7lbs now and we've still got about 2 weeks till the due date. If he's "fashionably late", I might need a c-section to get him out. Ugghhh.)
I'm not a praying/ religious/ spiritual person, but the other day as I lay tossing and turning, trying desperately not to scratch myself to pieces, I strongly considered it. If I were, it would go something like this:
Please, PLEASE, do not let this little guy pass Go until after SXSW, but let it be before April 1. Actually, anytime next week would be great. I'd even take this Sunday, and I know I'll be exhausted that day because of all the awesomeness going on on Saturday. In the meantime, help me find the perfect lotion or SOMEthing that will make me magically not itch anymore. Also, some help figuring out all the basic child care, custody, and support stuff would be great. Thank you in advance for that stuff, and thank you all the time for good music, good food, good friends, and for family. Amen.
Something like that.
I'm excited and scared, worried and happy, and all kinds of everything you can feel. I don't actually know if I've ever felt so many things in such rapid succession.
http://www.parentingweekly.com/newsletter/Archive/Default.aspx?NL=651&MU=1
There are all these things to think about as this pregnancy thing comes to an end.
I need to write a will because now I have someone really special and important to leave things to, not just cats or my sisters or parents (even though they're great, this little guy is above all of them). Not only that, but now I have someone who'll need to be taken care of if something happens to me.
We have to figure out the custody and child support stuff. I've been trying to bring it up and deal with it for months, but it kept getting tabled. It's now to the point where there's no more time left to do that, or for me to try to be okay with that. He'll be here any day now. I've been looking at these sites: http://texaslawhelp.org and http://www.oag.state.tx.us/cs/ and talking to people here and there about how to handle things.
There are basically three options:
1. Try to do it ourselves and hope that we never disagree and that we both are always perfectly honest and forthcoming about everything, never selfish, and that we always have our child's best interest in mind. That seems... unrealistic to me... especially based on our track-record.
2. Take our financial documents to the court and let them figure out the child support based on their formulas. Use their system to set things up so that no one has to remember to write a check to anyone else and there's documentation of everything. So that if we ever try to fight about money things, it'll all be right there where we can look at it.
Work out a visitation schedule that we can both live with and submit it to the court for approval. Preferably, this would be something that doesn't tear our child apart or drive either of us crazy. Our child should know us both and know that we will always reliably be there for him. Our child shouldn't have to move every week or be a gypsy. There are all kinds of things written about how best to work out something like that (on and offline). In general, the child stays with one parent primarily with no solo overnight stays with the other parent until he or she is 3 and then longer visits are allowed. I'm willing to work around that and have our own version with earlier overnights if it seems like all of us can handle that. What is good for the majority may not be what's best for our son. We won't know till he's here what kind of boy he'll be.
3. Get lawyers and have them do everything. That will be expensive and they'll probably drag things out into the open that we'd rather keep private. There will also be alot less freedom with them involved.
Considering the way things have gone so far, option Number 2 is probably the best we can do. The courts are set up so that it's easy to do sans lawyers. Most people can't afford counsel, and there are alot of similarities between cases like ours, so the process is streamlined. Option Number 1 has no regulation, Number 3 has total regulation, so Number 2 is the middle ground.
I found a place in town that might be able to work with us to put together a plan and help us avoid option 3: http://www.austindrc.org/
Anyway, as always, I'm hopeful that things will work out for the best... but I'm trying to be prepared for the worst.
We also still haven't found a daycare place for June. If anyone has a recommendation in the Central Austin/ UT campus area. PLEASE, let me know ASAP.
Beyond the nitty gritty stuff, I've been more uncomfortable in my skin these last few weeks than I've ever been in my entire life. Tired more. Sleeping less. Itchy. My GOD, no one could've prepared me for how much itching I'm having because this kid is stretching my skin. It's like the worst sunburn you've ever had when it starts to heal. I feel stretched tight like a drum and I look like I have a basketball in the front of my clothes. Yes, the kiddo's bigger than a soccer ball. (Over 7lbs now and we've still got about 2 weeks till the due date. If he's "fashionably late", I might need a c-section to get him out. Ugghhh.)
I'm not a praying/ religious/ spiritual person, but the other day as I lay tossing and turning, trying desperately not to scratch myself to pieces, I strongly considered it. If I were, it would go something like this:
Please, PLEASE, do not let this little guy pass Go until after SXSW, but let it be before April 1. Actually, anytime next week would be great. I'd even take this Sunday, and I know I'll be exhausted that day because of all the awesomeness going on on Saturday. In the meantime, help me find the perfect lotion or SOMEthing that will make me magically not itch anymore. Also, some help figuring out all the basic child care, custody, and support stuff would be great. Thank you in advance for that stuff, and thank you all the time for good music, good food, good friends, and for family. Amen.
Something like that.
I'm excited and scared, worried and happy, and all kinds of everything you can feel. I don't actually know if I've ever felt so many things in such rapid succession.