Good News, Revelations, and Inspiration
Good news always first: I just found out that I get to be on nightline next year!!!! That has to be some of the best news i've heard in a long time. I am so excited about this! I get to do something that i love to do, and actually be able to really help people...more than i've ever been able to before. I think this is going to be a great experience for me, and a great way to grow.
Revelations: This past week, thinking about the last eight months, i've come to realize that maybe I am actually capable of doing the things i want to do...i've had a self-confidence booster, after finishing it all and looking back with a better perspective than when you're in the mess of it all. My grades are all back, and i've realized that I can do this univeristy thing...going into it, i was worried that i wouldn't be able to handle unversity, because it's a lot different than high school. but i have...and i can. And in high school i had a lot of stuff...i was worried it would be really hard to leave it all behind, and get it back again somewhere else, but apparently humans are miraculously good at adjusting to new situations... and i've found that I'm still me... the things you do don't make you who you are...they are just how you express it. i'm me without the student gov/dsac/rha....i'm still me without peer counselling/nighline... it's why i do those things that makes me...well, me. it took me a while to realize it, but now what my counsellor told me all those years ago, when perhaps i wasn't ready to listen are making sense now. i still love doing those things, and i'm still me, and i can find those ways to express that wherever i go...i can find places to fit in, people that love me for me...not what i can do for them, or what i have... it took me a while to realize these things, and sure i still have a lot of stuff to figure out. but i'm growing up. i finally feel like i'm finding where i fit in with all this mess. i don't have to be alone, as i figured out yesterday. and i'm not... i have great friends that are there for me... having a guy or not having a guy does not change who i am, or make me any less loveable... i have the best friends a girl could ever ask for, and all the relationships help you figure out what you really want and need. Sure, part of me still wants a relationship, but that love is worth waiting for. it takes time, and dosen't just come that quickly... but not feeling alone when i don't have anyone is a big hurdle, but maybe i'm finally getting over it.
Inspiration: on a happy note, i finally got back into my writing again. i decided a fresh start...brand new story, new characters.... immerse myself in a new world... I love getting into it. I talked it over with Taryn today, and she gave me some good ideas. I miss that girl! But my inspriation has returned, and now I'm ready to dig into it!
Revelations: This past week, thinking about the last eight months, i've come to realize that maybe I am actually capable of doing the things i want to do...i've had a self-confidence booster, after finishing it all and looking back with a better perspective than when you're in the mess of it all. My grades are all back, and i've realized that I can do this univeristy thing...going into it, i was worried that i wouldn't be able to handle unversity, because it's a lot different than high school. but i have...and i can. And in high school i had a lot of stuff...i was worried it would be really hard to leave it all behind, and get it back again somewhere else, but apparently humans are miraculously good at adjusting to new situations... and i've found that I'm still me... the things you do don't make you who you are...they are just how you express it. i'm me without the student gov/dsac/rha....i'm still me without peer counselling/nighline... it's why i do those things that makes me...well, me. it took me a while to realize it, but now what my counsellor told me all those years ago, when perhaps i wasn't ready to listen are making sense now. i still love doing those things, and i'm still me, and i can find those ways to express that wherever i go...i can find places to fit in, people that love me for me...not what i can do for them, or what i have... it took me a while to realize these things, and sure i still have a lot of stuff to figure out. but i'm growing up. i finally feel like i'm finding where i fit in with all this mess. i don't have to be alone, as i figured out yesterday. and i'm not... i have great friends that are there for me... having a guy or not having a guy does not change who i am, or make me any less loveable... i have the best friends a girl could ever ask for, and all the relationships help you figure out what you really want and need. Sure, part of me still wants a relationship, but that love is worth waiting for. it takes time, and dosen't just come that quickly... but not feeling alone when i don't have anyone is a big hurdle, but maybe i'm finally getting over it.
Inspiration: on a happy note, i finally got back into my writing again. i decided a fresh start...brand new story, new characters.... immerse myself in a new world... I love getting into it. I talked it over with Taryn today, and she gave me some good ideas. I miss that girl! But my inspriation has returned, and now I'm ready to dig into it!