(no subject)
break last week was kind of miserable... i got to see vreni and jill for the first time since the start of the year pretty much so that made it better but i was probably not all that fun to be around. idk what's wrong with me. i used to have myself together, i was on top of everything in high school, and i don't feel like i do right now. at all. also i just couldn't take being home for that long, i don't know why there was such a huge change so fast but it didn't feel like my house, i wasn't comfortable.
maybe this has something to do with the dream i had last night. it was really disturbing and i can't stop thinking about it. the dream had to do with some sort of war, and there were two groups at an impasse. to get it sorted out we had to go one on one with the other side and for some reason the other side could take shots at us but we weren't taking shots at them. everyone else got through but i got shot twice in the chest. i remember exactly where i was shot and i remember feeling blood fill my chest and mouth. it didn't really hurt and for some reason and i must have passed out because next thing i was in some reception area with my mom and vreni and others, bullets still stuck in my chest. vreni said solemnly "so the turkey is in the can..." which i guess was supposed to confirm that i got shot. thats all i remember. wtf?
maybe this has something to do with the dream i had last night. it was really disturbing and i can't stop thinking about it. the dream had to do with some sort of war, and there were two groups at an impasse. to get it sorted out we had to go one on one with the other side and for some reason the other side could take shots at us but we weren't taking shots at them. everyone else got through but i got shot twice in the chest. i remember exactly where i was shot and i remember feeling blood fill my chest and mouth. it didn't really hurt and for some reason and i must have passed out because next thing i was in some reception area with my mom and vreni and others, bullets still stuck in my chest. vreni said solemnly "so the turkey is in the can..." which i guess was supposed to confirm that i got shot. thats all i remember. wtf?