It's Been Way Too Long.................. Part 1
Once again, I've neglected this poor LJ(fucking Myspace), which isn't fair to LJ. So I decided to make it up by writing a brand spanking new entry, I haven't written in this thing since fucking Feb. 11, so yeah you can only imagine the stories I have.
Well my football camp started on Monday, we had actual pads practice from 9 to 11 am, then we weight lift then we have another 2 hour practice then we have to run a mile, their called 3-a-days, and we had them all week so I'm dead tired. I got the shit knocked outta me on Thursday and now I have a gash on my nose and my hands are all cut up. I did get the guy back though so yeah. I got confirmed back in May, that was kool I guess. This Summer has been probably the worst Summer I've ever had in my entire life. For starters my best friend and I got stopped at 4 in the mourning with 2 girls in the car by cops, with out any liscense. We were out passed curfue and had to call my parents. I was punished until I died, I wasn't allowed to get my Tattoo and am not allowed to get my liscense until I'm 18, lol. I know I have awesome fucking luck, you don't have to say it.
Let's see what else happened. Oh yeah, really early on in the summer (like the first weekend), I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. For this story to be told properly, you need some back story, so lets go back, shall we? The first thing you should probably know, is I've been completely head-over-heals for this girl for about 5 or 6 months. Like I really had feelings for her, she was as close as I thought their could be. She was funny, had a fantastic personality, great taste in music(which for me to say that is pretty impressive), amazingly beautiful, and her eyes, they kept you wanting to know more. Shit even her sarcasm complimented mine, lol. We had a great friendship and all that good stuff. She had her best friend and they had a great friendship with one another. They were really close, they had this closeness that I, personally, had never seen before.
Ok, so now you know all that, we can begin. I could never bring myself to tell her how I felt(mistake number 1), and at the time I was taken these diet pills that affected my personality draistically(mistake number 2). So this one night we all go to hang out at a friends house. The entire day had been pretty Bad, so I was going in there pissy(mistake number 3), and the night started with everyone kinda having this arguement, like for shits and giggles. By the end of the night I was practically maniacle, like an anger I've never seen myself get to before in my entire life. When I got home I should've gone straight to bed, but instead I signed on AIM(mistake number 4). She was online, and we started talking, with no time at all I jumped started the conversation into an all out brawl(mistake number 5). I said somethings that I wouldn't even say to my worst enemies on a bad day. During this fight, I dragged 2 other friends into this(mistake number 6). Basically by the end of it all I had managed to completely destroy every ounce of trust, friendship, and respect. I've never regretted something so much in my life, it just eats away at me every night, it constantly haunts me, and if you look closely at all the mistakes, they could have easily been avoided by just sitting down thinking and deciding on doing the logic thing, basically thinking before you act. But the story isn't over.
I made it a point to take responsibility for my actions and try to make ammends the best I could. I talked to the entire group, and then everybody seperately. For the most part, I fixed as much as I could that wasn't already permanently destroyed. What Kills me the most is how could I do this to someone I cared so much for, I used to myself that I would sacrifice anything to see her smile, and then I go and Hurt her so much, I can't even imagine the kinda pain I caused her.
Well my football camp started on Monday, we had actual pads practice from 9 to 11 am, then we weight lift then we have another 2 hour practice then we have to run a mile, their called 3-a-days, and we had them all week so I'm dead tired. I got the shit knocked outta me on Thursday and now I have a gash on my nose and my hands are all cut up. I did get the guy back though so yeah. I got confirmed back in May, that was kool I guess. This Summer has been probably the worst Summer I've ever had in my entire life. For starters my best friend and I got stopped at 4 in the mourning with 2 girls in the car by cops, with out any liscense. We were out passed curfue and had to call my parents. I was punished until I died, I wasn't allowed to get my Tattoo and am not allowed to get my liscense until I'm 18, lol. I know I have awesome fucking luck, you don't have to say it.
Let's see what else happened. Oh yeah, really early on in the summer (like the first weekend), I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. For this story to be told properly, you need some back story, so lets go back, shall we? The first thing you should probably know, is I've been completely head-over-heals for this girl for about 5 or 6 months. Like I really had feelings for her, she was as close as I thought their could be. She was funny, had a fantastic personality, great taste in music(which for me to say that is pretty impressive), amazingly beautiful, and her eyes, they kept you wanting to know more. Shit even her sarcasm complimented mine, lol. We had a great friendship and all that good stuff. She had her best friend and they had a great friendship with one another. They were really close, they had this closeness that I, personally, had never seen before.
Ok, so now you know all that, we can begin. I could never bring myself to tell her how I felt(mistake number 1), and at the time I was taken these diet pills that affected my personality draistically(mistake number 2). So this one night we all go to hang out at a friends house. The entire day had been pretty Bad, so I was going in there pissy(mistake number 3), and the night started with everyone kinda having this arguement, like for shits and giggles. By the end of the night I was practically maniacle, like an anger I've never seen myself get to before in my entire life. When I got home I should've gone straight to bed, but instead I signed on AIM(mistake number 4). She was online, and we started talking, with no time at all I jumped started the conversation into an all out brawl(mistake number 5). I said somethings that I wouldn't even say to my worst enemies on a bad day. During this fight, I dragged 2 other friends into this(mistake number 6). Basically by the end of it all I had managed to completely destroy every ounce of trust, friendship, and respect. I've never regretted something so much in my life, it just eats away at me every night, it constantly haunts me, and if you look closely at all the mistakes, they could have easily been avoided by just sitting down thinking and deciding on doing the logic thing, basically thinking before you act. But the story isn't over.
I made it a point to take responsibility for my actions and try to make ammends the best I could. I talked to the entire group, and then everybody seperately. For the most part, I fixed as much as I could that wasn't already permanently destroyed. What Kills me the most is how could I do this to someone I cared so much for, I used to myself that I would sacrifice anything to see her smile, and then I go and Hurt her so much, I can't even imagine the kinda pain I caused her.