Overheard in NYC (my favorites from August 2005)
I can't sleep because I'm hungry. So I do this instead. Why aren't any of the dining halls open? Why can't I sleep even though I'm exhausted? I'll be fine. Really.
Post 2 - one-liners
Woman: Why does every man have to stare at my tits? Like they've never seen none before? Haven't they seen their Momma's or their wives' or their girlfriends'? The other day a man asked me if my tits were real, I said, "Is your dick real?".
***
Man on cell phone: You forgot the safety word?
***
Chick: I'm going to papercut you ferociously.
***
Girl: Yo, I think these Band-Aids give me street cred.
***
Girl on cell: I hate him! I don't want to invite him since he rammed his head into a wall at the bar...Yeah, she's okay...When did he get cancer?...Of course, he can be invited; he has cancer. Wait...does he like to ram his head into walls?
***
Man: How could you do that to me on my birthday month?
***
Man on cell: Hello. Yes, this is the squirrel from the park. Please come back to the park, I'm not in the park but I'll be there soon.
***
College girl: I always associate double-parking with shrimp.
***
Girl: If she were dead, she would have called, right?
***
Suit: Well see, I've always either been single or in a relationship.
***
McChick: Would you like that "with cheese", or without "with cheese"?
***
Man: Oh shit, it's raining outside too?
***
Chick on cell: Yeah, I was there like you said but he wasn't there. You said he'd be there!...Well, fuck you too! I'm going to kill you when I get home you motherfuckin' bastard! You better say goodbye to your balls!...What?...Yeah. Sure. I'm up for some Chinese later...Bye baby...I love you too, pumpkin.
***
Woman: He's a good friend, but the sex is pretty awful. He a good kisser, but he has trouble further than that. I'm just not his type. I don't have a penis.
***
Conductor: You have to get on the train when the doors are open. Thank you!
***
FishBowlNY chick: Not only do you blog about everything, you blog in five different blogs about everything.
***
Hipster guy: Everyone keeps asking me why I'm sad, and I'm like, "I'm not sad, I'm from New York."
***
Tourist woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where the big apple is?
Post 2 - one-liners
Woman: Why does every man have to stare at my tits? Like they've never seen none before? Haven't they seen their Momma's or their wives' or their girlfriends'? The other day a man asked me if my tits were real, I said, "Is your dick real?".
***
Man on cell phone: You forgot the safety word?
***
Chick: I'm going to papercut you ferociously.
***
Girl: Yo, I think these Band-Aids give me street cred.
***
Girl on cell: I hate him! I don't want to invite him since he rammed his head into a wall at the bar...Yeah, she's okay...When did he get cancer?...Of course, he can be invited; he has cancer. Wait...does he like to ram his head into walls?
***
Man: How could you do that to me on my birthday month?
***
Man on cell: Hello. Yes, this is the squirrel from the park. Please come back to the park, I'm not in the park but I'll be there soon.
***
College girl: I always associate double-parking with shrimp.
***
Girl: If she were dead, she would have called, right?
***
Suit: Well see, I've always either been single or in a relationship.
***
McChick: Would you like that "with cheese", or without "with cheese"?
***
Man: Oh shit, it's raining outside too?
***
Chick on cell: Yeah, I was there like you said but he wasn't there. You said he'd be there!...Well, fuck you too! I'm going to kill you when I get home you motherfuckin' bastard! You better say goodbye to your balls!...What?...Yeah. Sure. I'm up for some Chinese later...Bye baby...I love you too, pumpkin.
***
Woman: He's a good friend, but the sex is pretty awful. He a good kisser, but he has trouble further than that. I'm just not his type. I don't have a penis.
***
Conductor: You have to get on the train when the doors are open. Thank you!
***
FishBowlNY chick: Not only do you blog about everything, you blog in five different blogs about everything.
***
Hipster guy: Everyone keeps asking me why I'm sad, and I'm like, "I'm not sad, I'm from New York."
***
Tourist woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where the big apple is?