★4 Voice | Action

[skater_brain]

[Alright, the experiment was weird, but he survived and now he has a more pressing problem. This...egg. The very egg that he's had strapped to himself in a backpack for the last month. Wtf does he do now?]

Anybody know how long it takes for babies ta' come outta eggs?

[For the action inclined, Beat's out around town, just rolling on his

Comments

voice

[lists_to_port]

Babies...come out of eggs?

[Well. You've stumped him.]

voice

[skater_brain]

Chyeah, dude. Got one here wit' me. Ribbons had one, too.

[Sorry, Jack.]

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[lists_to_port]

Well it could go at any time, couldn't it!? Have you prepared the soft blankets, man? Have you boiled up the water?!

voice

[skater_brain]

Huh?! Why I gotta boil water?!

voice

[lists_to_port]

Because that is what one does when a baby is about to arrive! Gallons! Gallons and gallons of boiling water!

[Jack has absolutely no idea. He just knows that you do it. He once offered to do it for Winry Rockbell.]

voice

[skater_brain]

...Oh.

[He sees.]

....!! But it's an egg, yo! Won't water kill it?!

voice

[lists_to_port]

......................You don't boil the baby, you lummox.

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[skater_brain]

I ain't no lemon! I'm Beat!

And what else you do wit' hot water and an egg?!

voice

[lists_to_port]

Very well, then--Beat. You boil the water because sometimes things need to be cleaned after the baby arrives. Babies are highly messy, and childbirth is...

Just how large is this egg, sir?

voice

[skater_brain]

[Zoning all that out now.]

I dunno, 'bout the size a' my palm.

voice

[lists_to_port]

[Okay so wait----an actual BABY baby isn't coming out of this egg. There might be some audible groaning and a "bugger" over the journal at that realization.]

You're not havin' a baby, lad. You're havin' a chicken. Don't boil anything, keep it warm, and a tiny little ball of yellow fluff shall come into the world and look upon you as upon a god.

[Have fun with that.]

voice

[skater_brain]

Hey! It's still a kid, aight?! Chicken-baby or no!

voice

[lists_to_port]

But if you make a baby-related announcement, surely you must expect your auditors to picture an adorable bitty baby-baby!

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[skater_brain]

Man, I'm 15 and dead, how tha' hell'm I suppose ta' have a baby-baby? Use yo' head, yo.

voice

[lists_to_port]

Dead? You're dead?

[Fifteen-years-old aside.]

You don't look so very dead, boy. Look alive to me.

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[skater_brain]

[He shrugs and the camera might pick that up.]

Yeah, well, this place kinda made it so people can see me. S'like the entire place's got a decal on it, yo.