Same ol' shit, different day
Doesn't matter what I want
Doesn't matter what I need
Doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed...
~ Union Station
So...one person gets to go to college and bails on me because of too much homework. The other one, who has been helping me every night since forever, made plans with his family and can't help me tonight either. Nothing against the 2nd person - it just leaves me in a bind, especially because he was the ones that set appointments for tonight and I have no helpers.
I'm left holding the bag. Again.
Even though I've made it perfectly clear that I don't want it. I never wanted it. I don't want to do it. I've said again and again how I want to go do other things. But no. Not for me. I have to stay and do all the shit while everyone else gets to run right out and do whatever the hell they feel like. Who gives a flying fuck about me, right?
I'm the one that gets stuck. I'm the one that can't get a 2nd job to get myself out of debt because I would let everyone down. I'm the one that can't go back to a life in the theatre because it would take me too far away from the school. I'm the one that's still waiting for someone to get his stinkin' act together and actually show up for once so that I can train him on taking things over because he's the one that wants this, NOT ME.
I've had enough! Enough of teaching, enough of the complaints and problems, enough of reading boring books and late night seminars and training for a career that I already rejected years ago. I'M TIRED. What the fuck would they do if I just stopped showing up like everyone else???
But they know I won't. Not ol', dependable Tess. No, not her. She's a rock. We can use her and abuse her and tell her she has no right to complain about not getting paid because she "chose" to be a volunteer. We'll make her do all the work it takes to keep that school open and running and not pay her a dime. Oh, we'll pay a kid to teach some classes, but not Tess. No, she'll do it for free, because she's a fucking patsy.
I fucking hate all of you.
Doesn't matter what I need
Doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed...
~ Union Station
So...one person gets to go to college and bails on me because of too much homework. The other one, who has been helping me every night since forever, made plans with his family and can't help me tonight either. Nothing against the 2nd person - it just leaves me in a bind, especially because he was the ones that set appointments for tonight and I have no helpers.
I'm left holding the bag. Again.
Even though I've made it perfectly clear that I don't want it. I never wanted it. I don't want to do it. I've said again and again how I want to go do other things. But no. Not for me. I have to stay and do all the shit while everyone else gets to run right out and do whatever the hell they feel like. Who gives a flying fuck about me, right?
I'm the one that gets stuck. I'm the one that can't get a 2nd job to get myself out of debt because I would let everyone down. I'm the one that can't go back to a life in the theatre because it would take me too far away from the school. I'm the one that's still waiting for someone to get his stinkin' act together and actually show up for once so that I can train him on taking things over because he's the one that wants this, NOT ME.
I've had enough! Enough of teaching, enough of the complaints and problems, enough of reading boring books and late night seminars and training for a career that I already rejected years ago. I'M TIRED. What the fuck would they do if I just stopped showing up like everyone else???
But they know I won't. Not ol', dependable Tess. No, not her. She's a rock. We can use her and abuse her and tell her she has no right to complain about not getting paid because she "chose" to be a volunteer. We'll make her do all the work it takes to keep that school open and running and not pay her a dime. Oh, we'll pay a kid to teach some classes, but not Tess. No, she'll do it for free, because she's a fucking patsy.
I fucking hate all of you.