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maybe if i smash my head into more objects, preferably sharp ones or really hard ones, evrything will go away. everything is just so messed up. to me everything is a blur another day another hour. same old shit different sandwich. i just want everything to stop and be good again. it is just too much. stuff takes a mental toll. you don't know it, but it does. if i wanted to, i would yell until my lungs bled, and jam my head into walls as hard as i could in hopes that it can make me feel better. but i guess its not working. everything to me is falling down. i just need sometime, like a weekend away, or something better, a lifetime away. i am going to stay out of everything, because no matter what i do it gets blown back in my face, worse than a servpro puffback. fuck it. let me be.