pause.breathe.ok,go.
i'm back at Purdue,and i'm not too sure if i am ok with that. classes started today,and again,i don't know if i am ok with that. math is going to suck and i don't know if i want to deal with that this semester. i have a feeling my other classes are going to be lame as well. i want the weather to be warm. i am tired of always having to go outside in seventeen layers of clothing. i want to be able to go outside,walk around,and just be able to be outside without having to go through the pain of freezing. being stuck inside all the time is seriously starting to get to me and make me depressed. i hate it. i fucking hate it. my birthday is coming up,and i am going to be nineteen. i hope people remember. if not,oh well. i hope i will be home for it. i want this girl to come and visit me,and i wish it would happen soon. a girlfriend is starting to sound like more and more of a good thing. maybe being with someone will make things better. i've been sleeping a lot since i came here. the only time i was up today was when i went to class,i was in bed every other minute. sleeping seems to pass time. some of the only times i am really comfortable is when i am taking a shower,even though i fucking hate taking showers. it's such an inconvenience,but i just like to be in there. no one yells at me for taking a forty minute shower here. i'm obsessed with Saosin and radio music lately. i can't wait to get the Beyonce cd for my birthday. i really just want to be able to get through a semester of school with decent grades. i'm lazy,and that's a fact,and i need to make myself do this. if i do as shitty as i did last semester this time,i don't think i am coming back next year. i don't know what else to do. no sense in wasting money. there are three guys in my room watching football and getting way too into it,but hey,if that makes them happy,go for it. and i hate how i am only really happy when i am surrounded by my friends in Elwood. my stomach hurts. as for now,i think i am going to try and do some homework.
bodie.
bodie.