(no subject)
i suck at communicating.. i dont want to be shy.. i nearly shit my pants today when i had to present a project for school because i was so nervous, but i dont know how to controll it, it just floods me my palms get sweaty i get shakey my mind draws blanks my hearts starts punding. i dotn think people take me serioulsy because of the way i look, and my height, i know it sounds lame but to most people i am just cute little kaitlyn, syd wants me to be more assertive which i understand, it shouldnt be hard to tell some one to back off when they'er hitting on her, and it sounds easy in my head but when the situation is present i just shut up and i hate it. i cant tell people what i am acutally feeling, its frustrating beyond belief. sydney is so smart and sooo confident and knows how to say exactly what she means, and i just mumble and say sorry alot and draw blanks. it Sucks soo bad. , and am just constantly nice, and trying to fix and make every thing ok, and when i do get mad it always seems like its not for the right reason or what i am trying to get across is completely wrong. . i gotta get this confidence thing ove with, frank said tellamarkiting is a good way. im passive, i brush things off to easily. i've never been one for drama or gossip, and its hard for me to have a problem with some body. they gotta do something that really ticks me off. like derick he pissed my off to the point where i wasnt gunnna brush his bull shit off and he got decked in the face.., i really don thave problems with alot of people and if i do im not the type to show it.