Hello, 2011.
New year, new chances.
So, what's been up with me? Long story short, I've been seeing my therapist weekly, as well as a psychiatrist. My psychiatrist started me on Lexapro (a seratonin reuptake inhibitor or some shit like that) to help with my diagnosed anxiety disorder, and so far I'm on my fourth week. I should start seeing the bulk of results now, but I'm happy to report I've already experienced a great deal of improvement and strength. It isn't just the meds, though, I am fortunate enough to have family that loves me and friends that are amazing and caring and awesome. In particular, my mom, sister, uncle, and best friend have been the support holding me up and reminding me that there is still so much to live for and some people will always be good in their hearts.
On top of fixing my anxiety problem, I'm working on fixing me, too. It's going to be tough to sift through years of an undiagnosed problem, but while I'm at it it's time to address the things I don't like and find the strength to change them. On top of the Lexapro, the psychiatrist also started me on Abilify. She started off by telling me it was for Schizophrenic and Bipolar people, and which point I was ready to walk out of her office. Thankfully she amended that by telling me she wanted me on the 2mg dosage, which is meant to aide in other drugs, like Lexapro. The first night I took it, I threw up a McDonald's hamburger I'd eaten thirteen hours prior. It wasn't just normal vomit either--it was exorcism vomit. I was shaking and clammy by the time I got to the toilet, and it spewed out of me like a busted water pipe.
Anyway. That was quite a while ago, maybe a week or so. I've only tonight gathered the courage to try and take the drug again, on the off chance it was a freak coincidence that I puked my guts out last time. I haven't eaten in a few hours, and I'd planned not to again for the night, but my tummy is rumbling :(
I think that's it for the medications and shit. I'm trying to catch up on things I've been behind on for a while; art orders, character profile shit, projects, etc. On top of that, I'm really hunting for work now. I don't know if I'm mentally ready for it, but my mom can't handle all these bills herself forever.
I might start doing a weight-loss thing on this blog, too. I really want to lose weight for once and for all, and this would be a nice way to track it. And I stole the idea from my friend Kyri.
So, what's been up with me? Long story short, I've been seeing my therapist weekly, as well as a psychiatrist. My psychiatrist started me on Lexapro (a seratonin reuptake inhibitor or some shit like that) to help with my diagnosed anxiety disorder, and so far I'm on my fourth week. I should start seeing the bulk of results now, but I'm happy to report I've already experienced a great deal of improvement and strength. It isn't just the meds, though, I am fortunate enough to have family that loves me and friends that are amazing and caring and awesome. In particular, my mom, sister, uncle, and best friend have been the support holding me up and reminding me that there is still so much to live for and some people will always be good in their hearts.
On top of fixing my anxiety problem, I'm working on fixing me, too. It's going to be tough to sift through years of an undiagnosed problem, but while I'm at it it's time to address the things I don't like and find the strength to change them. On top of the Lexapro, the psychiatrist also started me on Abilify. She started off by telling me it was for Schizophrenic and Bipolar people, and which point I was ready to walk out of her office. Thankfully she amended that by telling me she wanted me on the 2mg dosage, which is meant to aide in other drugs, like Lexapro. The first night I took it, I threw up a McDonald's hamburger I'd eaten thirteen hours prior. It wasn't just normal vomit either--it was exorcism vomit. I was shaking and clammy by the time I got to the toilet, and it spewed out of me like a busted water pipe.
Anyway. That was quite a while ago, maybe a week or so. I've only tonight gathered the courage to try and take the drug again, on the off chance it was a freak coincidence that I puked my guts out last time. I haven't eaten in a few hours, and I'd planned not to again for the night, but my tummy is rumbling :(
I think that's it for the medications and shit. I'm trying to catch up on things I've been behind on for a while; art orders, character profile shit, projects, etc. On top of that, I'm really hunting for work now. I don't know if I'm mentally ready for it, but my mom can't handle all these bills herself forever.
I might start doing a weight-loss thing on this blog, too. I really want to lose weight for once and for all, and this would be a nice way to track it. And I stole the idea from my friend Kyri.