Ambushed. A vacation kidnapped.
Ok This bit is transcribed from my uberphone, written in the backseat yesterday trying not to be carsick.:
not angry. just keep saying it...not angry. just disappointed. sad. hurt. lonely. ugh. disappointed. my fault. shouldnt have. know better. never get my hopes up. the only things that work out well for me are the things i dont care about. hes right. i should just stop caring. oh god how i wish i could. but i got my hopes up. I wanted to be the center for just one day. but that was foolish of me. should have known better. this disappointment lies on my own shoulders.
Ug. Its okay. I've had fun. Not what i expected, but fun none the less. And every time that i can be around my addiction without getting a fix just means that much longer i stay on the wagon....
Fuck it.
"I'm off the wagon and im hitchin a ride...."
not angry. just keep saying it...not angry. just disappointed. sad. hurt. lonely. ugh. disappointed. my fault. shouldnt have. know better. never get my hopes up. the only things that work out well for me are the things i dont care about. hes right. i should just stop caring. oh god how i wish i could. but i got my hopes up. I wanted to be the center for just one day. but that was foolish of me. should have known better. this disappointment lies on my own shoulders.
Ug. Its okay. I've had fun. Not what i expected, but fun none the less. And every time that i can be around my addiction without getting a fix just means that much longer i stay on the wagon....
Fuck it.
"I'm off the wagon and im hitchin a ride...."