Tattered -N- Torn
Life is not conviently, Interuppted by commercials during tragedy, I can barely see, Come wipe the tears from my eyes, Cuz I need you next to me, Before I load the gun and die, You made me want to live, I have nothing left but rage to give, All alone in my room, Bethy I'll see you soon.
It's really hard for me to try to put all the peices together now about what really happened. There's alot of rumors spreading around our group of what really happened. It's hard to know which is the truth. I wish she left a note or something, explaining why or maybe just saying goodbye, because then it'd help me understand why they did this. Everyone still seems okay by this, like it was just another person or friend who passed away. I'm not okay. Everyone seems to have moved on. I haven't. I know it's not good to dwell on it, but how do you get over something like this EVER? I'm not depressed. I'm just angry. And with everything else that has been going on lately, I think I've got a right to be. Don't come near me. Don't touch me. I don't know when, but I'll be fine. I've got to be strong...for her at least. Bethy and Bo, I love you both very much and miss you.
I told myself I wasn't going to write in this anymore. It seems wrong to try to move on so soon, but I have to write. And since I forgot my journal in Roxanne's car I have nothing else to write on or in for the time being.
I can't keep this rage in me....can't be this empty anymore.
Fuck it all. Fuck this world. Fuck everything that you stand for. Don't belong. Don't exsist. Don't give a shit. Don't ever judge me...and don't you fucking touch me.
I want them back. I still don't belive it. I've gone to Bethy's grave a few times since it happened. But I haven't gone to Bo's yet. I need to go and pay my respects. He was a good guy. As much of an asshole he was sometimes, he was really a very caring guy. I steal flowers off Bethy's grave everytime I go. And I still haven't managed to bring one of those flowers home with me. I end up leaving them at Chris' or in Roxanne's car or at the grave. I'd much rather have her instead of the flowers though. I KNOW I wouldn't lose her.
Everything is shit right now. Everything. The only thing I can look forward to is 3 weeks, when I get my memorial tattoo of Bethy.
This is the end of everything...
It's really hard for me to try to put all the peices together now about what really happened. There's alot of rumors spreading around our group of what really happened. It's hard to know which is the truth. I wish she left a note or something, explaining why or maybe just saying goodbye, because then it'd help me understand why they did this. Everyone still seems okay by this, like it was just another person or friend who passed away. I'm not okay. Everyone seems to have moved on. I haven't. I know it's not good to dwell on it, but how do you get over something like this EVER? I'm not depressed. I'm just angry. And with everything else that has been going on lately, I think I've got a right to be. Don't come near me. Don't touch me. I don't know when, but I'll be fine. I've got to be strong...for her at least. Bethy and Bo, I love you both very much and miss you.
I told myself I wasn't going to write in this anymore. It seems wrong to try to move on so soon, but I have to write. And since I forgot my journal in Roxanne's car I have nothing else to write on or in for the time being.
I can't keep this rage in me....can't be this empty anymore.
Fuck it all. Fuck this world. Fuck everything that you stand for. Don't belong. Don't exsist. Don't give a shit. Don't ever judge me...and don't you fucking touch me.
I want them back. I still don't belive it. I've gone to Bethy's grave a few times since it happened. But I haven't gone to Bo's yet. I need to go and pay my respects. He was a good guy. As much of an asshole he was sometimes, he was really a very caring guy. I steal flowers off Bethy's grave everytime I go. And I still haven't managed to bring one of those flowers home with me. I end up leaving them at Chris' or in Roxanne's car or at the grave. I'd much rather have her instead of the flowers though. I KNOW I wouldn't lose her.
Everything is shit right now. Everything. The only thing I can look forward to is 3 weeks, when I get my memorial tattoo of Bethy.
This is the end of everything...