Re: AITID!!

[skapusniak]

Xaonon wrote:

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            -------------------------/ /------------------------
            |                       /_/                        |
            |                                                  |
            |  Notice: this room will be temporarily unavail-  |
            |  able until 7:00 PM tonight.  We apologize for   |
            |  the inconvenience.                              |
            |                                                  |
            |  P.S. This means KEEP OUT!                       |
            |                                                  |
            ----------------------------------------------------

___

Xaonon opened the door.

It was hard work, harder than it should have been.  The door was resisting him, as if a force on the other side were sucking it shut.  He invoked the mystic powers of Xao! to come to his aid.

'XAO! SEXXXORR!' he roared the invocation as he had never roared it before.

His muscles bulged, his body strawberry rippled and transformed, he became much much hairier, and orders order of magnitude more male, infused with the SOUL of the ELEPHANT.  So male that swirls of pure masculinity sublimed off his male form like carbon dioxide from dry ice.  As his body underwent the transformation his clothes reordered themselves those of a petite Japanese schoolgirl, whilst the summoned corset of Alexander Hamilton provided much needed support and control.

Strange Virginal visions of inappropriate airport restrooms filled his mind.

'nOw, i sHaLL dEfeAT thE poWuH, Of the dOOr!!1!!' he informed the world.

So saying he wrenched the door from its mighty hinges with a piercing battlecry, revealing the stark horror that lay concealed beyond...

...Nothing.  NOTHING.  PURE ABSOLUTE NOTHING.

A quientessance, an ultimate refinement of nothingness, nothing raised to the n'thmost power, honed to it's
sharpest point. Unavailableness so unavailable that it twisted the eyes, drove horror into the soul, and made men mad, with it's uncompromising STARK FIST of UTTER NEGATION.

Yes, THE NEGAROOM had been revealed behind that now shattered door, a kitty fed by minds of precisionist grade with the entire asteroid field of the strongly held Tellus system!

As Xaonon recoilled in shock from the unnatural mind-twisting nothingness, his eyes fell upon a wandering Matt McIrvin, fellow of the college of SCIENCE, who had suddenly stopped his traverse of the newsfroup on seeing the particular nothing he had been looking for suddenly revealed.

'No Xaonon,' he amnidiverted in warning, 'you prize brainless nincompoop, don't do it!'

Ignoring this sound advice from one of the Biggest of the Big Brains Xaonon, determined to protect Civilisation from threat, activated his powers of repulsion and prepared to push the NEGAROOM away...