(no subject)

[skankysquirrel]

There are these moments in my life where, despite probably only 10 seconds ago, I feel reduced to the kid I still technically I am. I don't know what to say. All I want to do is get the things I used to have. At the time I didn't realize they were being handed to me.

I make mistakes. I doubt I do any more than the next person, but they're always the obvious ones. They're always the ones I should have known better for. I'm not as proud or self righteous as I carry on to be. Sometimes I just don't know how to act. Most of the time I don't actually.

Then there are the times that really matter to me. Those are the times when I feel like what's important to me is staked right there beyond the counter. I've ruined a lot of things (everyone does) but I have some really fond memories. I want to recover them. I know I might not. I can deal with that, but it stings just a little.

There was this friend who helped me through all the "problems" that I thought where because of someone else. I came to find that it was mostly my fault, but that's not important. I remember a phone call in it is much, much better.

I think I'm a disapointment to him, among other friends. I'm a little ashamed, but not to the point of chronic depression. I'm not trying to complain. I'll work to change that, but until then I just wanted to say

thanks, man