Walmart: The Battle for Blood

[skankinburro]

I experienced something this morning that I will never forget. The Walmart BLITZ sale. They stack the "hot items" from the thanksgiving day add in random locations around the store. Then at 5 am on the dot, they begin the BLITZ. Once the announcement is made a feeding frenzy begins. Shouting, cursing, pushing and shoving. Have you ever seen dogs fight over scraps? Imagine Braveheart with low prices. I went with my mother just to check it out. It made me laugh so much my friend and I decided to escalate the situation. Right after they made the announcement of doom, we made our move. We had set every stereo in the electronics department (the core of the maddness) to KFMA. The five O' clock call out triggered us into turning each one up to full volume. It was perfect. The deal grabbing mosh pit began to the tune of "I wanna be sedated" -Ramones. After basking in the execution of our devious (rather stupid) plan, we retreated to the parking lot. It was amazing, when we had parked, we were the first car to park past the main lot. When we came out there was no parking anywhere, cars were parking in the dirt lots around the building. Plan for next year.......

I'm bringing stink bombs.

rawr.