In which Mia wakes up as a penguin.
NOTE: This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from my imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons is entirely coincidental.
The next day, I woke up and I felt different. It wasn’t just hungover different, it was different. I know it’s extremely dangerous to sniff coke and take shots of tequila at the same time, but the party was bumpin’ and I simply could not resist! And yes, I know it was a school night, but come on.You would have done the same thing. And when that stunning guy with the dark curls and the six pack let me take shots off his stomach, how could I say no? I am a party girl after all.
I tried to get out of bed, but It was hard. Did I gain weight? Was I retaining water? I better not be! I rolled out of bed and tried to walk. However I seemed to be waddling, the way the yuppie city women with their huge hips and high heels do on Jobs Lane in the summer. I waddled down the hall and into the living room, where we have a mirror that takes up most of a wall. To my astonishment, I had become a penguin!
I used my new beak to press the speed dial on my cellular phone. Thank god I had gotten that stud’s number last night! “Geoff!,” I exclaimed. He didn’t even give me time to speak after that.
“I’ve become a damn penguin!!!,” He shouted. We discussed for quite some time. We tried to figure out why we were penguins. “Come over!” He said. So of course I did. After all, the boy was gorgeous. He did alot of pot, but that didn’t really matter to me. He was funny and good looking. He drove a blue jeep and listened to hardcore music like the band Norma Jean. His badass image appealed to my good girl stereotype. It was he who got me into drugs and alcohol after all. Before I met Geoff, I could be found at the Nursing Home painting elderly women’s nails. Now I could be found in a black lit basement snorting lines with Geoff.
I waddled to the corner to catch the Suffolk County Bus to Hampton Bays. As a penguin, I could not drive. The bus dropped me off at Slo Jack’s where I met Geoff. We waddled to his house. We decided that as penguins, maybe we should lay low for a little while. School was definitely out of the question. I sat on the carpeted floor of Geoff’s room. He put Comedy Central on the television. We watched Dane Cook live, even though I hate Dane Cook.
My cell phone started to ring. The caller ID said “Restricted.” Oh no! Miss Lee, the attendance teacher, probably called her and asked why I wasn’t in school. I knew I was busted big time. I decided not to pick it up. She left a message. “MARIA CHRISTINA ROSE DAVILA! YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE! YOUR GROUNDED FOR LIFE! IM TAKING YOUR PHONE AND YOUR CAR AND YOUR COMPUTER! WHERE ARE YOU!? YOU BETTER CALL ME RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY!”.
That's when things got really crazy. Geoff’s mom came home from running errands and saw us sitting on his bedroom floor. She immediately (and wrongly) accused us of doing impure things while we should be at school. Then she realized that we were penguins. She called 911 and we were rushed to the hospital.
My mother arrived in the Emergency Room, very flustered. I was in so much trouble. Was the juice worth the squeeze? Was it worth all this trouble to be high for a couple of hours? I was in the hospital, as a penguin, with my mother very angry at me. I felt like Greggor Samsa in Metamorphosis. I was a burden to my family, and after all the trouble I had caused today, she is probably going to kill me, or put me in a zoo. I guess I can only pray for the best!
The next day, I woke up and I felt different. It wasn’t just hungover different, it was different. I know it’s extremely dangerous to sniff coke and take shots of tequila at the same time, but the party was bumpin’ and I simply could not resist! And yes, I know it was a school night, but come on.You would have done the same thing. And when that stunning guy with the dark curls and the six pack let me take shots off his stomach, how could I say no? I am a party girl after all.
I tried to get out of bed, but It was hard. Did I gain weight? Was I retaining water? I better not be! I rolled out of bed and tried to walk. However I seemed to be waddling, the way the yuppie city women with their huge hips and high heels do on Jobs Lane in the summer. I waddled down the hall and into the living room, where we have a mirror that takes up most of a wall. To my astonishment, I had become a penguin!
I used my new beak to press the speed dial on my cellular phone. Thank god I had gotten that stud’s number last night! “Geoff!,” I exclaimed. He didn’t even give me time to speak after that.
“I’ve become a damn penguin!!!,” He shouted. We discussed for quite some time. We tried to figure out why we were penguins. “Come over!” He said. So of course I did. After all, the boy was gorgeous. He did alot of pot, but that didn’t really matter to me. He was funny and good looking. He drove a blue jeep and listened to hardcore music like the band Norma Jean. His badass image appealed to my good girl stereotype. It was he who got me into drugs and alcohol after all. Before I met Geoff, I could be found at the Nursing Home painting elderly women’s nails. Now I could be found in a black lit basement snorting lines with Geoff.
I waddled to the corner to catch the Suffolk County Bus to Hampton Bays. As a penguin, I could not drive. The bus dropped me off at Slo Jack’s where I met Geoff. We waddled to his house. We decided that as penguins, maybe we should lay low for a little while. School was definitely out of the question. I sat on the carpeted floor of Geoff’s room. He put Comedy Central on the television. We watched Dane Cook live, even though I hate Dane Cook.
My cell phone started to ring. The caller ID said “Restricted.” Oh no! Miss Lee, the attendance teacher, probably called her and asked why I wasn’t in school. I knew I was busted big time. I decided not to pick it up. She left a message. “MARIA CHRISTINA ROSE DAVILA! YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE! YOUR GROUNDED FOR LIFE! IM TAKING YOUR PHONE AND YOUR CAR AND YOUR COMPUTER! WHERE ARE YOU!? YOU BETTER CALL ME RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY!”.
That's when things got really crazy. Geoff’s mom came home from running errands and saw us sitting on his bedroom floor. She immediately (and wrongly) accused us of doing impure things while we should be at school. Then she realized that we were penguins. She called 911 and we were rushed to the hospital.
My mother arrived in the Emergency Room, very flustered. I was in so much trouble. Was the juice worth the squeeze? Was it worth all this trouble to be high for a couple of hours? I was in the hospital, as a penguin, with my mother very angry at me. I felt like Greggor Samsa in Metamorphosis. I was a burden to my family, and after all the trouble I had caused today, she is probably going to kill me, or put me in a zoo. I guess I can only pray for the best!