fuori le mura: I'm tight like a mans anus, Mike.
It's quarter to ten on a Saturday night; you all know what that means! Mike is home alone, bored, and updating his livejournal! I was thinking abot sticking to the "things that piss me off" livejournal theme, but then I realized that everyone must find that stupid and annoying. I guess I will just have to save all this aggression up for the diary I keep under my pillow. "Dear Diary, I said hello to Billy in the hallway today, and he didn't even notice me! I love him so much, but he doesn't even know I exist! I wrote his name three hundred times on a piece of notebook paper today, and then kissed it with lip gloss on. What am I to do?" <--Sort of what my diary sounds like.
Anyway, today I met this super cool toad. I hung out with him for a while. Probably more time than a nineteen year old boy should be spending with a toad. I named him "Cornelius" and imagined him in a brown tweed jacket smoking a classy pipe. We talked about the stock market. He lives in my sun room now. I say hello and stop in for tea now and again. I really oughta make some friends.
So I had a pretty interesting night last night. We all went to see Anchorman, which was awesome, but not the point of my story. I think it would be pretty stupid to do an entry on Anchorman. Anyway, I was supposed to give people rides to this movie. I knew Riley was one of them, and Kira was another. I also knew Riley got off work at eight. So I knew I was picking Riley up sometime after eight. What no one bothered to tell me, though, is that I was supposed to pick Riley up AT eight. I guess people called my cell phone to tell me this, but the battery was dead. So I drove to Riley's house at eight thirty to find no one home. I figured he blew us off to go to a party and was pissed. I was especially pissed because we had gotten him a ticket in advance. What I didn't know was Riley had been leaving me a series of HILARIOUS messages that went something like this:
Message number 1.) Mike, could you come pick me up from work at eight, man? Thanks a lot. You're a good buddy.
Message number 2.) Mike, where are you? What the fuck?
Message number 3.) Mike, you're retarded. You're retarded. You are fucking retarded. You're retarded. You are retarded. You are fucking retarded.
Message number 4.) The next time I see you, I am seriously going to punch you in the face. I am going to punch you in the face.
Message number 5.) Fuck this Mike. Fuck you Mike. You'd better not call me for a few days.
So finally I get in touch with Riley and pick him up. He gets in my car and says, "Um, yeah... I left a few messages on your phone out of anger. You probably should ignor those." I responded, "Oh man, I am going to listen to them and they are going to be hilarious!" And I did and they were.
When we went to see Anchorman, I think we had assembled the most fun crew of people ever. It was: Nickole, Joey, Riley, Steve, Tom, Kira, Allie, and Julia. It was the fucking BALLZ.
Well... I am bored. I want to go yard sale shopping tomorow. If anyone reads this before then and is even remotely interested, drop me a line. I don't really have anyone to go with yet. Also, I don't really have any plans for the rest of forever. So if you want to hang out, feel free to drop me a line.
-MIKE
Anyway, today I met this super cool toad. I hung out with him for a while. Probably more time than a nineteen year old boy should be spending with a toad. I named him "Cornelius" and imagined him in a brown tweed jacket smoking a classy pipe. We talked about the stock market. He lives in my sun room now. I say hello and stop in for tea now and again. I really oughta make some friends.
So I had a pretty interesting night last night. We all went to see Anchorman, which was awesome, but not the point of my story. I think it would be pretty stupid to do an entry on Anchorman. Anyway, I was supposed to give people rides to this movie. I knew Riley was one of them, and Kira was another. I also knew Riley got off work at eight. So I knew I was picking Riley up sometime after eight. What no one bothered to tell me, though, is that I was supposed to pick Riley up AT eight. I guess people called my cell phone to tell me this, but the battery was dead. So I drove to Riley's house at eight thirty to find no one home. I figured he blew us off to go to a party and was pissed. I was especially pissed because we had gotten him a ticket in advance. What I didn't know was Riley had been leaving me a series of HILARIOUS messages that went something like this:
Message number 1.) Mike, could you come pick me up from work at eight, man? Thanks a lot. You're a good buddy.
Message number 2.) Mike, where are you? What the fuck?
Message number 3.) Mike, you're retarded. You're retarded. You are fucking retarded. You're retarded. You are retarded. You are fucking retarded.
Message number 4.) The next time I see you, I am seriously going to punch you in the face. I am going to punch you in the face.
Message number 5.) Fuck this Mike. Fuck you Mike. You'd better not call me for a few days.
So finally I get in touch with Riley and pick him up. He gets in my car and says, "Um, yeah... I left a few messages on your phone out of anger. You probably should ignor those." I responded, "Oh man, I am going to listen to them and they are going to be hilarious!" And I did and they were.
When we went to see Anchorman, I think we had assembled the most fun crew of people ever. It was: Nickole, Joey, Riley, Steve, Tom, Kira, Allie, and Julia. It was the fucking BALLZ.
Well... I am bored. I want to go yard sale shopping tomorow. If anyone reads this before then and is even remotely interested, drop me a line. I don't really have anyone to go with yet. Also, I don't really have any plans for the rest of forever. So if you want to hang out, feel free to drop me a line.
-MIKE