Happy May Day bitches.
My life has been eventful as of late. I use the word "eventful" respective to the activities of which my life typically consists. How I've been spending my time lately would most likely be considered "average" or even "uneventful" to any one whose life isn't incredibly pathetic. Anyway, on to more pressing issues... as pressing as any issue addressed in my livejournal can be, anyway. Thursday I took the train to Boston with Joey to meet up with Steve. We had plans to go see the "Ska's Not Dead" tour. Yeah, you read that correctly. After attending the show, I came to the conclusion that ska is, indeed, dead. As much as I hate ska, I must admit I rather enjoy a good ska show once in a while. I like to go and watch the fat, latently homosexual ska kids jump around and not have a clue. The best part is, everyone in attendence is much too stupid to be pretentious. So I let go the contstaints of my otherwise emotional life for an evening in order to skank around like a jackass in spite of myself. I certainly feel better afterwards... but then I cannot deal with anything remotely ska for at least two months afterwards without becoming really angry.
So anyway, we saw The Planet Smashers, Mustard Plug, Catch-22, and Big D. I think I liked The Planet Smashers the best. The played "Surfin' in Tofino" and demanded a certain degree of audience participation. We had to sit on the floor of the Axis, and put our hands in the air to simulate a wave. After this, we all counted off to ten enthusiastically to kick the song off, only we replaced the number nine with the word "hang," making the count end in "hang ten!" (Get it? Very clever.) At which point we all jumped in the air and flailed around like the happy ska-kids we were. Mustard Plug was next and they, were, well... Mustard Plug. Catch-22 did a good show as usual. Good when they played songs off of Keasby Nights, that is. Someone should explain that they are completely incapable of writing music that doesn't completely suck at this point, and that they should stop embarassing themselves. They should also not offend me by playing shit off of "Alone in a Crowd" when they play live. Oh well, their bassist, "Mingus," more than made up for everything by being really short, adorable, and amazing. I want to keep a Mingus as a pet and have him play amazing basslines for me for my enjoyment. Big D brought down the house as usual. I'm sure anyone who is reading this could not care any less about ska, and I apologize for typing all of that. Actually, I am not going to confine the people who could not care less about ska only to those who may be reading this entry; everyone in the world could not care any less about ska because ska sucks.
So today I saw a family of field mice, a duck, and a turtle. Given the fact that I have the mentality of a 6 year old, I ran home to excitedly explain this to my niece. However, she was unimpressed, as she saw a swan today. Nothing I could tell her would live up to that damn swan. Fucking swan...
Uh... I think I departed from the topic of Boston somehow just then. After the show, myself and my two amigos trotted off to Steve's dormroom to do whatever it is college kids do in dorm rooms. That turned out to be "watch Aquateen Hunger Force and then fall asleep." Based on my experience, I assume this is what all college kids do in their dorms. The next morning, Steve had to pack to leave for home. This interesting piece of information was left out when I was invited to sleep at Steve's dorm. So I ended up cleaning up Steve's dorm for him while he stood and watched me because he could not get "motivated." About this I do not care, however, because that night Steve and I spooned, making everything ok. So we packed carried stuff loaded stuff in a van drove home to Gloucester went to Steve's house unloaded and then ate pizza. All in all, a pretty fun time I'd say. Oh, we also got to meet next-door Cole and then watch WrestleMania XX with him. This was amazing. I also can't leave out the part where we listened to Tardy Penetration.
In retrospect, I guess the last few days of my life haven't been that eventful at all. All I really did was go to Boston... so this entry consists of me writing about my time spent there in needless detail. When I sat down to write this entry, I thought for some reason that it would turn out to be a lot more interesting than it actually is. I feel bad for giving anyone who may have been foolish enough to read this false hopes for an exciting entry. To rectify this, I am going to conclude my entry with lots of exciting stuff that never actually happened.
So later on last night I once again began to feel "the thirst." As usual, I tried to contain myself, but my insatiable blood lust cannot be repressed or contained. So I opened my closet and dothed my latex body suit, and cleaned off the 'ole monkey wrench and headed down to the old abandoned train yard to have some fun. The first hobo I brained was generally lethargic, and did not put up much of a fight. This degree of disappointment would not set the standard for the rest of the evening, however. I encounted some paticularly feisty winos who proved to be quite the worthy adversaries. One of them even had a knife! What this social derelict was doing with a blade is a mystery to me... but I clobbered him before I had a chance to ask any questions. Feeling satisfied, I strolled off to find a suitable set of wheels to steal. I hotwired this sweet-ass BMW and drove off to the circus clown themed S&M party I had been planning on attending. At the door, I took some really heavy mind-altering drugs and then proceeded to engage in several acts of sexual deviance and beastiality. At around 4am, my quaaludes wearing off and my need for sexual depravity having been catered to, I traveled to my secret lair to hop in my time-helicopter. I then flew to Rome and murdered the pope. I was home in time for Matlock. I guess this concludes my exciting albeit fictional synopsis of my most recent activities. I hope you've enjoyed! This entry is far too long... even for an entry of mine. I apologize to anyone who might be unfortnate enough to have read all of this. As it turns out, I am very bored, and as a result all of you must suffer with a very shitty, pointless livejournal entry. Fuck all y'all!
Don't mess with Texas,
-MIKE
So anyway, we saw The Planet Smashers, Mustard Plug, Catch-22, and Big D. I think I liked The Planet Smashers the best. The played "Surfin' in Tofino" and demanded a certain degree of audience participation. We had to sit on the floor of the Axis, and put our hands in the air to simulate a wave. After this, we all counted off to ten enthusiastically to kick the song off, only we replaced the number nine with the word "hang," making the count end in "hang ten!" (Get it? Very clever.) At which point we all jumped in the air and flailed around like the happy ska-kids we were. Mustard Plug was next and they, were, well... Mustard Plug. Catch-22 did a good show as usual. Good when they played songs off of Keasby Nights, that is. Someone should explain that they are completely incapable of writing music that doesn't completely suck at this point, and that they should stop embarassing themselves. They should also not offend me by playing shit off of "Alone in a Crowd" when they play live. Oh well, their bassist, "Mingus," more than made up for everything by being really short, adorable, and amazing. I want to keep a Mingus as a pet and have him play amazing basslines for me for my enjoyment. Big D brought down the house as usual. I'm sure anyone who is reading this could not care any less about ska, and I apologize for typing all of that. Actually, I am not going to confine the people who could not care less about ska only to those who may be reading this entry; everyone in the world could not care any less about ska because ska sucks.
So today I saw a family of field mice, a duck, and a turtle. Given the fact that I have the mentality of a 6 year old, I ran home to excitedly explain this to my niece. However, she was unimpressed, as she saw a swan today. Nothing I could tell her would live up to that damn swan. Fucking swan...
Uh... I think I departed from the topic of Boston somehow just then. After the show, myself and my two amigos trotted off to Steve's dormroom to do whatever it is college kids do in dorm rooms. That turned out to be "watch Aquateen Hunger Force and then fall asleep." Based on my experience, I assume this is what all college kids do in their dorms. The next morning, Steve had to pack to leave for home. This interesting piece of information was left out when I was invited to sleep at Steve's dorm. So I ended up cleaning up Steve's dorm for him while he stood and watched me because he could not get "motivated." About this I do not care, however, because that night Steve and I spooned, making everything ok. So we packed carried stuff loaded stuff in a van drove home to Gloucester went to Steve's house unloaded and then ate pizza. All in all, a pretty fun time I'd say. Oh, we also got to meet next-door Cole and then watch WrestleMania XX with him. This was amazing. I also can't leave out the part where we listened to Tardy Penetration.
In retrospect, I guess the last few days of my life haven't been that eventful at all. All I really did was go to Boston... so this entry consists of me writing about my time spent there in needless detail. When I sat down to write this entry, I thought for some reason that it would turn out to be a lot more interesting than it actually is. I feel bad for giving anyone who may have been foolish enough to read this false hopes for an exciting entry. To rectify this, I am going to conclude my entry with lots of exciting stuff that never actually happened.
So later on last night I once again began to feel "the thirst." As usual, I tried to contain myself, but my insatiable blood lust cannot be repressed or contained. So I opened my closet and dothed my latex body suit, and cleaned off the 'ole monkey wrench and headed down to the old abandoned train yard to have some fun. The first hobo I brained was generally lethargic, and did not put up much of a fight. This degree of disappointment would not set the standard for the rest of the evening, however. I encounted some paticularly feisty winos who proved to be quite the worthy adversaries. One of them even had a knife! What this social derelict was doing with a blade is a mystery to me... but I clobbered him before I had a chance to ask any questions. Feeling satisfied, I strolled off to find a suitable set of wheels to steal. I hotwired this sweet-ass BMW and drove off to the circus clown themed S&M party I had been planning on attending. At the door, I took some really heavy mind-altering drugs and then proceeded to engage in several acts of sexual deviance and beastiality. At around 4am, my quaaludes wearing off and my need for sexual depravity having been catered to, I traveled to my secret lair to hop in my time-helicopter. I then flew to Rome and murdered the pope. I was home in time for Matlock. I guess this concludes my exciting albeit fictional synopsis of my most recent activities. I hope you've enjoyed! This entry is far too long... even for an entry of mine. I apologize to anyone who might be unfortnate enough to have read all of this. As it turns out, I am very bored, and as a result all of you must suffer with a very shitty, pointless livejournal entry. Fuck all y'all!
Don't mess with Texas,
-MIKE